Who do you think should pay when you're out on a date?
Once upon a time, men made most of the money and non-traditional couples were hard to find. In an age of somewhat higher earnings for women and a more casual approach to dating, one question remains.
Who should pay for dinner on that all important first date? And what about the ones that follow?
Earlier this year, Learnvest surveyed over 2,000 men and women, and found that the answer differs not only between sexes but significantly by age.
When asked who should pick up the cheque on a first date, for instance, 59% of total respondents said that the man should always pay ... unless the woman has asked him out.
This opinion got more popular with age: While 50% of respondents who fell in Generation Z (ages 18-23) agreed, 71% of the Lost Generation (ages 67-82) felt the same way.
And when the distinction was made solely between males and females, 55% of men and 63% of women agreed that the man should cover the cost.
Compare that with a slightly more academic study out of Chapman University in California.
That paper says 84% of men and 58% of women reported that men pay for most expenses, even after dating for a while. Over 57 % of women claimed they offered to help pay, but 39% confessed they hoped men would reject their offers to pay.
Nearly two-thirds of the men believed that women should contribute to dating expenses, and nearly half of said they would stop dating a woman who never pays.
In any event, over time, the vast majority of participants, both male and female, said they starting splitting costs more regularly in the first few months of seeing someone exclusively.
Who pays for what when you're out on a date? How quickly has that morphed into some sort of expense sharing arrangment? What are the ground rules?
By Gordon Powers, MSN Money
Posted by: Gary | Aug 21, 2021 10:25:52 AM
The federal government
Posted by: Atul K | Aug 21, 2021 11:51:51 PM
I’ll say men to pay whenever the couple is out on date. It just feels right. Moreover, if the couple after dating for a while are serious in getting into a serious relationship then does it matter who pays for the date….hey each one is going to get a companion of their choice for their entire life!!!
I guess I am not aware if there are any set ground rules for this….can we really like really set ground rules for things like this?
Posted by: Pat | Aug 22, 2021 12:43:27 AM
from where i sit, the 'first date' should NEVER include the evening meal, no matter who pays for it - going in 'blind', metaphorically speaking, one person or the other will go 'all out' - overly fancy attire, personal appearance, etc - while the other might not, thereby making both sides (probably) uncomfortable with the situation, and therefore unable to enjoy the time together. invite him/her for a coffee, go for a walk in the park, do something generic - and after you've seen each other a few times (if it works), THEN suggest the evening meal. one more thing - neither side should suggest a venue that they personally can't afford; nothing is more embarrassing than "champagne tastes on a beer income", simply to impress someone (there are better ways to 'impress' than spending your entire paycheck on a single meal, y'know?)
Posted by: P Johnson | Aug 22, 2021 12:45:39 AM
In this modern day of equality, that word should mean equal responsibility in addition to equal benefit!Historical tradition should mean nothing, especially if it is based on obsolete values. Anyone who doesn't voluntarily contribute equally towards the burdens of a relationship rather than just the benefits is very selfish.
Posted by: no sucker | Aug 22, 2021 3:00:41 AM
If your a man like me you know your gona get the bill sooner or later.
Posted by: David | Aug 22, 2021 5:37:36 AM
Sorry. I have refuse to date so call gold diggers.50/50 a great way to do it. I over heard Woman talking about having 3-5 dates a week with different man.Free Lunch dinners.I vote i will pay 50%.
Posted by: George | Aug 22, 2021 7:55:05 AM
I only pay for mine,...i ain't nobody's daddy i work hard for my money....but most women still wait for you to pay it bothers me.
Posted by: H007 | Aug 22, 2021 8:10:37 AM
As long as women make 70-80% of what men do, I think they can afford to pay. In the last 20 years, the price of eggs has increased more than women's salaries. Let men buy the eggs until our salaries catch up.
Posted by: Equal Opportunity | Aug 22, 2021 8:24:04 AM
I think the person who has issued the invitation should at least offer to pay. If their date wants to contribute, that's fine. And if it's a long term relationship, just take turns. Too easy.
Posted by: Lou Garou | Aug 22, 2021 8:28:35 AM
Sorry about your career choice, that doesn't warrant us to pay every single time. Although I am a old fashion guy, but if I do the invite then it's on my coin......if the lady doesn't offer to get the next one......there usually isn't a next one. Like George and David stated, we're not sugar daddies and I refuse to date women that have that sense of entitlement.
Posted by: jenn | Aug 22, 2021 8:30:29 AM
i have always agreed that the one to pay should be the one that asked the other out. if the man asks the woman out for the first date, he should pay, if the woman asks, she should pay, simple as that, as the relationship goes on i think its fair to take turns or split costs, given that both are in about the same financial situation
Posted by: asd | Aug 22, 2021 8:55:55 AM
Hmmm, women fight for equal rights (good!), for equal salaries (good!) , and for anything else on their advantage. However, when it comes to pay, most prefer "traditional" ways: men should pay. Interesting, isn't it?
Posted by: cdnchk | Aug 22, 2021 10:02:32 AM
It depends on how we feel about each other. If I'm not into the guy (and yes, we know fairly soon if that's the case), we'll know that when we meet for coffee (where we're each arriving separately and grab and pay our own drinks). If I'm into the fella and he's into me, I like to take turns. He'll grab the first dinner bill (their explanations have always been that they invited) and I grab the next (yes, if I like them enough to sit through a 2 hour meal with them, I'll probably see them again). It ensures that we see each other regularly (if we like each other enough to continue seeing each other) and I like to joke that thus, we can expect the other to put out! ;-) If we continue to see each other and it gets serious, we continue as such. I've always dated men who make more than me, and maybe it's the traditional in them and in me, but they do protest when I grab the bill. However, my little joke does help them to relax and we have an inside joke later!
Posted by: roberto | Aug 22, 2021 10:09:44 AM
I dont think in these times no one person should be expected to pay the whole cost. Why not one buy the wine or dessert, the other buy the entrees? It is sharing and the male will not feel quite so used if the female shares some of the cost and, importantly, she will not feel so obligated to put out, so to speak. My date always pays the tip, I think that is quite generous and it appears to me she wants to be with me so much she is willing to pay part of the costs for the privaledge of sharing a meal with me, not just for a free meal.
Posted by: Moneek | Aug 22, 2021 10:43:29 AM
I so dislike seeing women using men. But....on a first date I believe men like to treat a lady to dinner,etc. Then if there is chemistry....and you will know..... you will eventually want to share EVERYTHING.
What I also don't like is, for a guy to think he should receive benefits, if he buys a lady dinner. But of course..you should feel it in your heart, if he is trying to use you,also and maybe you know....he is just not the one who will have respect for you and move on.
Another thing....if you only want him as a friend...be honest and let him know. Then if he still wants to go out to dinner...pay for his every now and then. Or go out and each pay for their own.... like friends do.
Posted by: Sue | Aug 22, 2021 11:24:37 AM
I must say that I believe, on the first date, the man should ALWAYS pay. That being said, he also gets to choose the venue then. If he only has a coffee budget, then coffee it is. A first date isn't to evaluate how fat his wallet is, it is to get to know the person inside. So in my opinion, whoever is paying, chooses the venue. The woman can't expect him to take her to the fanciest restaurant if she isn't willing to at least pay her share and, if not, she should be happy with McDonald's. But then this is coming from a woman that would rather be in love and live in a shack than fake it to live in a mansion.
Posted by: Joanne | Aug 22, 2021 11:25:25 AM
Honestly? If you invite, you pay. It's simple. Gender has nothing to do with.
However, if you make significantly more money than your date, you can't expect them to pay for your meal at an expensive restaurant that you wanted to go to, that you know is out of their price range, even if they invited you.
Posted by: Tabatha | Aug 22, 2021 11:40:58 AM
I think that if the women asks the guy out on a date then she pays for it and if the guy asks he pays. In today's world it's hard for either gender to make money so they should both pay when it coming to going out.
Posted by: the truth | Aug 22, 2021 11:43:06 AM
the guy should always pay if he wants the girl to put out, if he is not expecting this he should make her pay.
Posted by: the truth | Aug 22, 2021 11:44:33 AM
The man should pay if he expects the girl to put out, if he does not want her to put out he should make her pay!!!
Posted by: the truth | Aug 22, 2021 11:59:27 AM
thinking of it the girl should always put out when dinner is bought for her its just kind of an unspoken rule, I spend money on you....then we do it....everyone wins
Posted by: Michelle | Aug 22, 2021 12:03:43 PM
I've always more or less split things evenly with my dates. Whoever does the asking out pays for the first date, second date the other person does the paying. Unless there is a huge salary discrepency - I made a lot more than my last boyfriend and enjoyed eating out, so I would often pay.
With my current boyfriend, we tend to take turns. Whoever feels like eating out pays, it usually evens out in the end. We don't keep track.
Posted by: the truth | Aug 22, 2021 12:31:02 PM
my wife just gave me crap, I guess I am not allowed to take any women for lunch and pay anymore, thanks a lot msn for getting me in trouble......
Posted by: Karl | Aug 23, 2021 1:11:45 AM
The kind of woman who expects you to pay for things when you start dating will expect you to pay for a heckuva lot more when you are married!!
Posted by: JylEast | Aug 23, 2021 7:34:34 AM
I think the one who invites should pay the tab as well as choose the location. It seems cheap to expect someone invited on a first date to go Dutch. If to split the cost is essential to the one extending the invitation, then stipulate so, beforehand, so that the person has the opportunity to decline, because they don't want to invite a potential relationship with a cheapskate.
Posted by: most of my entire life , man pay for everything I want, is because I told them, for the begining, if they agree we are on date if not,is his choice. I have something man can be proud going on the date with me, and I man the man feel man and I am not desp | Aug 23, 2021 10:33:49 AM
most of my entire life , man pay for everything I want, is because I told them, for the beginning, if they agree we are on date if not,is his choice. I have something man can be proud going on the date with me, and I man the man feel man and I am not desperate, to get man so I should pay for him. I make my self clean and pretty,is cost me to look after my self. so the man has to pay, don't you understand that? Money talk bulshit walk.
If the man wont pay ,just because he call woman a gold digger. well man, you better be good with your new friend : Hand: :) and keep all your money, and enjoy it.
Posted by: most of my entire life , man pay for everything I want, is because I told them, for the begining, if they agree we are on date if not,is his choice. I have something man can be proud going on the date with me, and I man the man feel man and I am not desp | Aug 23, 2021 10:36:13 AM
well , woman should not invited man for the first place, if they do, man never respect her. so woman, please keep quite.
Posted by: Nadia | Sep 22, 2021 6:06:47 PM
I believe in sharing. So both of us could split the tab...if so desires. I don't have a problem with paying for my food or drink, weather he invited me out or not.