How much time should a woman take off work to raise children?
In Canada, we may pride ourselves on our generous parental benefits, but even the most family-friendly employer will secretly groan when notified about an employee’s pregnancy, warns careers columnist Leah Eichler.
When you're preparing to add a new member to your family, work is often the last of your worries. But little mistakes and oversights can turn that parental leave into a big mess – which generally lands at the mother’s feet.
Taking a truncated leave can cause more problems than it solves, for instance, including exacerbating health risks for new moms.
But some employers still clearly view mat leaves as being on par with taking a year off to learn skydiving. And then there's the actual cost of repeatedly taking time off to raise kids.
So, how much time should a woman take off work to raise children? And at what point does that time away negatively affect her career aspirations?
*Bing: What are the rules on maternity benefits?
For mothers trying to navigate their back-to-work plan, overcoming perceptions about loyalty and commitment are just some of the obstacles, says Beatrix Dart, executive director of the Rotman Initiative for Women in Business, a back-to-work program designed for those who have been out of the work force for several years and want to rebuild their careers.
Dart reveals that the demand for this sort of counselling is so great that they could have filled the program four times over.
Have you made this transition? Did your employer help or hinder? Would you do it the same way again?
By Gordon Powers, MSN Money
Posted by: Northern Ontario | Nov 15, 2021 1:32:48 PM
As an owner of a small business (less than 30 employees) and a father of 2 kids, here is my take. My wife took a full year off work and returned to the company where many things changed in those 12 months. Unfortunately, the so-called replacement worker did an outstaning job and made things even better for the company. My wife's position was taken over but she was given the opportunity to work alongside to this worker with the same pay she had prior to leaving. The issue was: my wife was no longer the boss but 2nd in command. Was it fair? Probably not in most eyes but the company felt they were now obligated to this "replacement" because her decisions doubled the sales for the company. Timing is everything, I suppose. My wife is still with them by the way, but I am certain many would had left. Ironically, that worker left for a better paying position and my wife now runs the ship again - with the knowledge that employee left her. Win Win.
In my company, my philosophy is simple. If you are away on maternity leave, the job you were doing is yours when you come back; up to 1 year. It's always been that way. My wife's scenario did not help in my policy. Employees are my #1 asset and you should treat them that way.
Posted by: Walter | Nov 15, 2021 9:51:46 PM
It depends, if you're a feminist shill for the present economic model a woman should take off anywhere between 2 days to 1 year (max). And then only the full year if she is spending that year filling the house with brand name baby items (N1ke baby sneakers etc).
If you are a person who believes that the woman is raising tomorrows leaders, parents and foundations of society, 15 years might make more sense.
"at what point does that time away negatively affect her career aspirations?" Probably 3 weeks is enough to convince her employer that she is placing other priorities (her childrens future) in front of making her employer wealthier (Shock.. Horror).
My wife transistioned in and out discovering to her dismay that employers & coworkers have no use for women who place their children ahead of their employers vacation plans.
Would we do it the same again? Not a chance.. Going straight back to work only benefits others, but don't listen to us. You'll have lots of time to help your children learn to walk when you're retired, right?
Apparently in the 1950's only the poor Soviet women had to work, the rich western women could depend on a sole man earning enough to support a family. Ha ha silly ruskies..
Posted by: Elmo | Nov 16, 2021 1:57:26 AM
So......... is that called "productive" time or "reproductive" time ? And how come men can't get at least 50% of that "time off" ? Quid Pro Quo Maybe the Gen-X or Yers should bitch about job opportunities being unavailable for them because of these couch-slouching, bonbon eating, "working" Octo-Moms. But NO... they'd rather lay the blame on the boomers who actually stay and work at their jobs 'til they're past 60.
Posted by: Clear & Focused | Nov 16, 2021 7:23:52 AM
@ Elmo
Men can get that maternal time off as well! Perhaps you don't know that because the good lord has prevented you from reproducing. I would call that evolution through survival of the fittest. Thank you lord
@Walter
That was a great post! You are obviously a very awake and aware individual.
Let's take a moment to morn the mental capacity of our less fortunate countryman - Elmo.
In fact, reading Elmo's regular posts reminds me of a very insightful quote from one of histories true geniuses:
Quote: "A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it." --Max Planck
Posted by: Debbie | Nov 16, 2021 11:49:45 AM
Oh my god Elmo, you really are a moron! Couch-slouching, bonbon eating, "working" Octo-Moms?!?!?! Are you kidding me? Are you upset because your own mother didn't love you enough?
I hate it when un-educated jerks come on here spouting BS.
My philosophy on this topic is, whatever works for the people having kids. If you need to go back to work right away, then that is your decision. (or maybe it is not a choice, but a reality)
For those that can afford to live off a one-income household, I think the kids benefit richly. Sure, you are pretty much giving up your chances of a career, because after being 15-20 years out of the workforce, it would be hard to find anything that wasn't service related, but you will be contributing (hopefully) to great members of the human race.
Posted by: gave up my career | Nov 16, 2021 2:57:16 PM
I am a woman who is married with 2 children. I chose (noone made me) give up my career. I felt that raising my own children to be responsible adults were much more important than making a few extra dollars. Yes, I graduated with a degree from University and had a good job before marrying my husband and giving it all up. I would do it again in a split second. I have 2 wonderful, beautiful, well-behaved children who are getting excellent marks in school, while many around me, don't have time for their children because they are busy working 2 careers/jobs--and their children are messed up, low grades, drugs and the whole 9-yards.
I believe you either stay home and raise your children--father or mother--or you don't have children, for someone else to raise ie. daycares, etc.
Posted by: Frank | Nov 16, 2021 3:06:53 PM
Ah, but can a man get that paternal time off if his partner is not working? What about as a stay at home dad? My partner is self-employed and earns significantly more than me (no i'm not kept) and so we're looking at me taking pat leave instead, but the ServiceCanada website isn't specific enough to indicate, calling the 800 number is useless menu prompting to the same web info and my employer isn't going to give me the afternoon to go stand in line at an EI office to ask a question.....
Posted by: Keiith | Nov 16, 2021 10:57:02 PM
I am 65 now and had a look back at what my wife had for mat leave in the 70's I believe it was 6 weeks. My mother had 1 week and then back to daily living and hired friends or a baby sitter to help raise us. I am not sure how it turned out that I got an education, worked every day of my adult life , bought a home, stayed married for 45 years think wife still loves me. We have 2 childred, educated and employed and now raising families. Not sure how that happened just lucky I guess. I wonder if a year off to raise a child is a help or a disater for our new generation. Seems to me no one is happy, 40% divorces, people do not stay at a job that requires grit and patience. Its a brave new world and hope all these entitlements that we want are going to give us the answer we are looking for
Posted by: Elmo | Nov 16, 2021 11:07:14 PM
@Dazed & Confused. Nice to see you chomping at the bit again. You're so freekin' easy. The only reason you can type with your ten thumbs is due to a genetic malfunction and that someone wouldn't let your experimental clinic chimp daddy use a condom. And btw... thanking Allah won't get you further up in the 42-virgins line so you can spare us your religious crap.
Posted by: Ginger | Nov 17, 2021 9:34:09 AM
' ..thanking Allah won't get you further up in the 42-virgins line so you can spare us your religious crap.'
What happened to the other 30 Virgins? ;-)
As a woman who wanted to have children and be an executive I opted to have the executive job first and now appears may be too late to have kids. I have to admit when a co worker took off and came back pregnant everyone acted very happy but behind the scenes was groaning about 2 years off ...even me if I have to admit it. We all seem to envy those who seem to get a better deal or have it easier then us. I don't think for one moment that should stop anyone from having kids and taking the time off on offer but be prepared for when you return your job ay be gone and all the prestige and perks that may go with it. It sucks but in the end you are better offf with a new life at home. Plus as a population we are dwindling and so if you don't care about her care about who will be there to pay taxes for your benefits medical and pension when you are elderly. So go forth and multipy. Cheers
Posted by: They Call Me Dave | Nov 17, 2021 10:24:45 AM
My personal opinion is that we have way to long of a maternity leave now. I would actually be more supportive of an 8 week to 3 month plan. Anything longer and you simply cannot walk back into your old position, too much changes in a year.
Part B is that there is a huge cost to all of this maternity leave. With governments in debt and defecit positions, we really need to look at entitlements. No cow is too sacred to be considered for cutting!
Posted by: dixie | Nov 17, 2021 1:43:25 PM
I have worked in the past and have received mat leave benefits. With time and 4 children later, I would recommend that women and their husbands consider the benefits of working to pay off any debt so when the children come, they don't feel financially obligated to return to the work force while they are raising a family. Because we are debt free, we have been able to make our children our priority and I have been able to be a full time mom. Our youngest has started kindergarten and since I know how fast time goes by, I am soooo glad that we did not choose to have someone else enljoy these formative years with them. Before I know it, they will be leaving home. That is when I can focus on other goals and no one will be neglected. Money is great but nothing compares to our children. Also, when my children are gone, perhaps I can be a great asset to the workplace. I can reassure my employer that I would be an asset because I won't be needing to take time off because my children are sick or something is happening at school or I'm pregnant. My future eimployment won't have to compete with my family obligations. Also, I can go back to school to get the education I might be needing and I won't have to neglect my kids while I study. People think they can have it all- family and a career- but one of them will always suffer and it will usually be the family. You can have it all, just not at the same time. And to expect the same job when you get back, I think is not reasonable. Also, during that year off, you might just discover that your darling baby is way more exciting and fulfilling than any job or paycheck.
Posted by: New Mom | Nov 17, 2021 2:00:26 PM
I'm a mother of a 15 month baby boy. I am also one of those mothers that got completely screwed over by my employer. I have worked in the insurance/manufacturing industry for 9 years - quite the boys club. Never had a problem with my working environment and was always praised for my dedication and work ethics. My career was excellent.. until I had my son. I went back to work after one year maternity leave and all of a sudden I was the outcast. My boss wouldn't speak to me and my career came to and end (even though my dedication to my job picked right up where it left off). I was laid off 6 weeks after returning to work and can't collect E.I. because I don't have the working hours to collect. Having women off for 1 year is what our children need. Life isn't easy at all right now but if losing my career and starting from scratch is the price that I had to pay to have my son - I wouldn't change a thing.
Posted by: Lisa | Nov 19, 2021 1:10:31 PM
I think having a year off from maternity leave has its consequences at work. Business has to continue. Alot of changes happen within a year at any company. So if you lose your seniority when you return from maternity leave, you made that happen by making the decision to become pregnant. Sorry...
Posted by: progressively inclined | Nov 21, 2021 11:47:48 AM
I am a 40 year old man who works for the federal government. I think all private employers should give the same benefits for maternity/paternity leave as my employer does. We get one year off (mothers) and up to 37 weeks off (fathers) with 93% pay. This helps to get the child off to that important first year of life and also helps out by keeping income relatively the same throughout that period giving the family an excellent chance in the first year. I believe private employers should do the same. I know if I owned a business and had employees I would do the same for them as well.
Posted by: New Mom | Nov 21, 2021 2:03:23 PM
@ Progressively inclined - I agree completely. When I was collecting EI I was bringing in less than 40% of my regular earnings. Our system sets new parents up to fail from the get go. The cost of a new baby plus the stress of knowing how little your earnings are is not a good combination. This country NEEDS people to have babies and yet the system is so flawed. You receive so little while on maternity leave and then get laid off upon return and can't collect EI. Doesn't sound fair to me. I wish all men had your view.
Yes, a lot can change in business in a year, but that means that people that decide to have children should not be entitled to return to a job? I'm not talking about seniority, I'm talking about the right to return to a job. It's not 1940 anymore, and if I could afford to be a stay at home mother, I would. The cost of living is just too high. Everyone is someones child, imagine if this is was YOUR mothers choice while deciding to have you - have a baby or lose your income/career. Having a baby is a personal choice, but it should not cost you your job. An employer wouldn't have the right to fire someone that loses both arms because they are now deformed. Why should they be allowed to fire someone just because they are now a mother? If every couple that has 2 people working knew that their human rights would be breached by having children a lot less people would have kids and what good would that do? My sons generation will be the leaders and professionals of the future. I believe they are entitled to a right start.
Posted by: steve | Nov 21, 2021 4:54:53 PM
...
Posted by: gave up my career | Nov 16, 2021 2:57:16 PM
I am a woman who is married with 2 children. I chose (noone made me) give up my career. I felt that raising my own children to be responsible adults were much more important than making a few extra dollars. Yes, I graduated with a degree from University and had a good job before marrying my husband and giving it all up. I would do it again in a split second. I have 2 wonderful, beautiful, well-behaved children who are getting excellent marks in school, while many around me, don't have time for their children because they are busy working 2 careers/jobs--and their children are messed up, low grades, drugs and the whole 9-yards.
I believe you either stay home and raise your children--father or mother--or you don't have children, for someone else to raise ie. daycares, etc.
....
This woman is amazing. Good for you for having valued your children higher than your career and, as such, raised them yourself. I've never been able to understand how parents could be ok with someone else raising their children. My wife is also doing as you did and I have a great respect for her for it.
Posted by: gave up my career | Nov 22, 2021 8:53:56 AM
To "New Mom": I think you ask why a woman should have to give up her career? It is simple. The female is the one of the two sexes that carries to term and delivers. Incidentally, I had a mother who gave ME up for her career about 45 years ago. I can tell you, I spent more time with the sitter than I did with my mother. I never really KNEW my mother. When she passed away, I looked at her in the casket thinking it was almost like looking at a stranger. There were no feelings there simply because I didn't know her. She didn't have time for me because she was so focused on her career, which her employer had every right to expect of her. Since she wanted a career so badly, she shouldn't have had me.
Many thanks to Steve. It's quite nice to know there are still people in society that value moms.
Posted by: Dana | Nov 24, 2021 1:20:54 PM
I agree that the main issue is coming back to a job, period. Depending on the level of responsibility or authority you have in your role - I can see how it may be difficult for an employer to hold that position or fill it with a temporary or contract worker. That being said, when a mother comes back it should be at the same pay even if it's a different job. As the company grows, she should be first to be considered for promotions to get back to where she left off.
Also, employers in general need to be more understanding of families. Times are changing and more commonly two parents need to be working.
It comes back to a simple, but cliche saying. Do you live to work, or work to live? I want a successful career one day; however, not at the expense of missing out on family.
Every woman should decide for herself what is most important.
Posted by: To Dana: | Nov 26, 2021 8:11:08 AM
and anyone who believes you must have 2 people working in the family. The answer is "no." We have one person working in the family. You don't go shopping all the time. You don't upgrade your house and/or car. We only have one car for a family of 4. You don't buy all the newest and latest things that come out. You don't go to restaurants all the time. You don't put your kids in the expensives sports. You DO give your family TIME. Your family does things together that don't cost money, at home. You should try it. It just brings the love out of everyone. It's great.