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June 08, 2021

Are you or your partner lying about money?

According to the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE), roughly one in three couples have deceived their partners when it comes to money

Among the offenders, 58% hide money from their spouse. 30% hide bills or sCheattatements from their partner. 16% lie about a major purchase. 15% have a hidden bank account. 11% of those surveyed lie about how much they earn or owe.

Men were significantly more likely to say that their partner was lying about a purchase, while women were significantly more likely to say their partner was lying about income or debt.

Sound familiar?

“It’s unfortunate, but not uncommon,” Olivia Mellan, a Washington, D.C. psychotherapist and author of Money Harmony told Reuters recently. “There are secret stashes, there’s debt, and there are even addictions or mistresses.

“We’re afraid and don’t want conflict, and so we rationalize that for the peace of the relationship, we should say nothing,” she adds.

Here are a few ways to help identify whether your spouse might be in a spending crisis.

* Hiding the mail: Does your partner insist on getting the mail and when he or she does, do you notice there’s not a lot of it? Many spouses with spending problems retrieve the mail and hide the bills. Demand to get the mail yourself and if your spouse refuses, that could be a sign of trouble.

* New items in the home: Have you noticed new jewelry, electronics, clothing or anything else unusual that you didn’t discuss buying with your partner? If so, he or she could be buying on impulse. Check credit card statements and bank statements; if these items can’t be found confront your significant other.

* Paying the bills: If your spouse insists on paying the bills and doesn’t share financial information with you that could mean something is wrong. Offer to help pay the bills and make a point to sit down and look over the bills while they're being paid.

Do you trust your partner when it comes to finances? Is your money relationship on the up and up? Are there any situations when it's justified to lie about money to your spouse?

By Gordon Powers, MSN Money

* Follow Gordon on Twitter here.

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Gordon PowersGordon Powers

A long-time fund company executive, Gordon Powers now heads up the Affinity Group, a financial services consulting firm. Gordon was a personal finance columnist for the Globe & Mail for many years, has taught retirement planning...

Jason BucklandJason Buckland

The modern-day MC Hammer of money, Jason can often be seen spending cash that isn’t his with the efficiency of a Wilt Chamberlain first date. After cutting his teeth as a reporter for the Toronto Sun, he joined the MSN Money team with...