Tired boomers struggling to look after aging parents: report

I don't mean to be callous here because it is indeed a tough thing to do (juggling the two) but it has been that way for a long time. Why is it suddenly so interesting just because it affects the baby boomers?

I am a boomer and my wife and have gone through similar situations over the past 5 years. It is part of life and and in most cases a small price to pay for what our parents gave up to raise a family. Be proud, be strong!!

I agree with Len and Patrick - No one ever said life is all "roses" - after all it's our turn to pay our ailing parents back for what they sacrificied for us.

I know this must be hard for many people but boomers are in the best possible situation to deal with this (more of them compared to the number of parents and kids they have). When the boomer generation advances to a similar age I think their children and society will have a much tougher time than what is being endured now.

Gen-X is not only helping to take care of aging/dying parents but young children, Student debt as well but also trying to deal with being caught in a housing pinch.
But I suppose, not being boomers or... the children of boomers, society doesn't care.
Kudo's on maintaining the status quo.

I don't agree with the concept that a people think they have to look after their aging parents. I am going to make sure i never put that burden on my children. I will take care of myself till the end, both financially & physically. Our children don't owe us anything.

"THE sandwich generation"?? What a stupid phrase. It applies with equal validity to every generation that has ever existed in history.

hey dickie, when you get old and have dementia or suffer even a minor stroke, or fall and crack your bones from osteoporosis, etc. you will be singing a different tune. everyone will need help and you will too unless you die before you start suffering from old age. wishing you perfect health ....

Hey diane, If i suffer from any of the diseases you mentioned then i will make sure i go to an old age home and my children can come visit me there. You sound like one of those parents that think your children owe you something because you gave birth to them, and it's your right,..shame on you.

Nobody owes me anything, no more than I owed my parents. We do what we do out of love and respect, as well as a personal sense of responsibility. Every generation has problems of some sort or another. I am a boomer..... makes no difference. I did what I could for my parents before they passed away and I will do whatever I can for my children and grandchildren. If they choose to help me in my old age, wonderful and if not then I guess I will look for a seniors home to do it.

no onr should feel guilty about not being able to spend ALL of their spare time with their aging loved ones. You should however give them as much time and attention as possible because when they are gone life is never the same again. with regards to the costs of looking after our elderly our govnt. here in Canada are the ones sorrly lacking. Our parents have contributted to our econonic well being all of their working lives and yet when it comes to pensioning off the govrnt steals back cpp siting too much personell income. This forces hardship on the elderly and the caregivers.

Well you just can't set your aging burdensome parents out on a drifting ice floe.

I am now 66 y/old and proud of it. When my dad died, my mom let me know that she so wanted to come live with me as she even offered me to go live in her house with her, I had my son living with me and he was more than happy G/mum would come live with us. We put her house for sale and SHE did come live with us. We were so happy. My mum wasn' t a burden, she became so happier than we had thought with the transition and all. We were a very happy family for I so loved my mother, it wasn't any kind of strain at all. I managed our life together by planning, and, when there's love, there's time. love has a lot to do with it. After all my mum went through during the war, serving her country and all. I miss my mum but I\m proud to say I still sherish the time we had her to us, witch wasn't for so long... I would do it again at a drop of the hat. Sherish the time you might have with your parents. If it wasn' t for them, where would we be. By the way, my son got a while to know his grand-mother and her memories. Proud daughter and g/son...

I would not want to become a burden on my children (either when they were 10 years old or now at 50 years old). It's rather twisted to have children with the expectation that they will care for you in your years of infirmity. Really?? Is that why you had children? Stop being so selfish. Just put me on the proverbial "drifting ice floe"...

I'm a baby boomer who agrees with Dickie & Richard views by expecting your children should take care of you. Parents, just like us had 50\60 odd years to save for their old age, and if they did not then they should not expect their children to do what they could not do. I have my mother living with my wife and I for 10 years now.....WHAT A NIGHTMARE we are living. She has an unpleasant character, confrontational, and she has succeeded in alleinating us from our children, family and friends, nobody likes to visit our home because of her. The problem here is that I am retiring in 5 years, and she could live another 10 + years, how do I take care of her on my retirement capital as well?

I am an RN who works in the community assessing the elderly. Your Mum could be with the early signs of dementia, and should be assessed by a geriatric doctor. Her family doctor can arrange that. If longstanding behaviour, then she should still be asssessed. There is no reason for you to become a doormat for your mother. Often these situations have been longterm. Some families have set very clear boundaries, although now would be a challenging time to change the rules on Mum. You and your family deserve to feel free in your own home. The local home care office can provide help. You deserve to have your home free for you to feel comfortable in it. GOOD LUCK.

Hey Dickie

You mention staying in an old age home??? I currently work with seniors and many of them are finding it very difficult to find places to live...so you may not burden your kids... because you might end up in some closet of a retirement community...and do mean a closet because they don't have room for you.. but you won't know any better, because you might have stage 4 dimentia and not know where you are...but rest assured.. your kids won't be burdened...

I'm closing in on retirement on a very fixed income. I share what I can with those who are important to me. Those of you who have homes to share with generations of family members are the luckiest of all.

Ice floes, retirement homes, extended care, in your home or an affordable facility, it doesn't really matter from where we depart this life.

What matters is it's a blessing to have enough, but it's divine to care enough to share. We are all family and no one should be left alone.

Me again. I enjoyed the majority of the comments on here. I expect to look after my Mom not too long down the road. We have a young family at home. I haven't lost a parent yet but dread the day when I won't ever be able to see either of them again. Every time I see them they look older and creakier. I just want them to live in dignity.

Hey Karen, I would rather live in a closet (in the steam room), if thats where they have to put me at the care home, rather than be a burden to my children and their families. If i don't know where i am then all the better for me. At least i'd die knowing that i didn't burden my children. They deserve to live in peace at their own homes with their own children without their mother/grandmother being in the way of their lives,..think about it,..no thank you,..send me out on an iceberg if need be.

Hey Mary, I apprecite your comments, but life is not always that simple. In my moms case it's definitely her longstanding behaviour, but living with a person is totally different to spending a few hours with them on weekly basis. She is definitely a "mother from hell", and we have rules in place, but she just ignores them, in her words "nobody will tell me what to do."
Once she even faked taking an overdose of pills, we dispatched an ambulance who arrived with a police officer, because it being a suicide attempt. She then informed the police officer that I had assaulted her, and in the process broke her glasses, fortunately for me the officer could not find any marks on her body, nor the broken glasses, otherwise I could hve been in serious trouble. All of this just to get us into trouble, figure that! My one daughter is also a RN and tried to get help for her during the faked suicide attempt, and I have spoken to her doctor, but no one seems to want to get involved.

Hear Hear! I never want to be obliged to anyone for anything - including my kids. If I haven't saved enough, or won a lottery, or have a pension enough to permit some dignified digs on my own, then make my icefloe large enough to allow me to pitch a tent for a short time - and go out with a last meal over a can of sterno, with a nice Italian red accompanying it. :)

It seems someone has a bad case of being a liitle whiner. I prescribe a healthy dose of man the $%#@ up

I am 66 years old. When I get too "old" to look after myself, for pete's sake I want to go to a home. There is no way I want to burden my children with looking after me. And if my mind is gone won't make a bit of difference where I am. What is wrong with you folks who think your children should take care of you...let them live their life.............and not feel guilty.