Is real estate actually just like sex?
"What do college students talk about with their roommates?''
Sex, according to author Marjorie Garber.
Twenty years later, what’s the main topic of conversation with their friends and associates?
You got it: Real estate — and with the same gleam in the eyes, she declares in her book Sex and Real Estate.
When it comes to real estate, just like sex, we always want a bit more, says Gina Barreca, one-half of a he-said, she-said column called Irreconcilable Differences. And things don't just stop there.
“You're convinced everyone has more of it than you do. You want it wherever you can get it. You wonder how you will know when the timing is right and you fear making a big mistake.
You wonder what you'll do with it once you get it. You imagine its contours, textures, and impact on your life. You wonder what your friends will think. Will they envy you or think you're overdoing it?”
Real estate is sexy because it's about physical comfort and bodily pleasure, and it seems to create an appetite for itself. That's why it's fascinating to see what other people have — and what they've decided to do with it, she says.
“Of course size matters, as does the number of previous owners, the shape they left it in, and whether or not it slumps, leans, drains well or leaks.
What's around it matters, what age it is matters, what it looks like matters, and yes, the décor matters.”
Is a cigar just a cigar? Or is real estate’s allure actually that powerful?
By Gordon Powers, MSN Money
Posted by: SP | Dec 28, 2021 3:20:12 PM
So if real estate is like s ex then closing fee's are genital warts, property tax is Herpes and a mortgage is AIDS?
Shame women don't show as much restraint towards real estate as they do towards s ex.
Posted by: John Smith | Dec 28, 2021 3:35:14 PM
Weak. I was expecting something to say about the subject, only to find nothing but puns.
Posted by: Richard | Dec 28, 2021 4:59:06 PM
Real Estate is like S EX only when your wife gets a "hold of it" through the divorce proceedings. Then you wish you would have stayed single and celibate. LOL
Posted by: Lisa | Dec 28, 2021 5:16:52 PM
Well written article Mr. Powers. I had a smile on my face when I finished reading it. Puns, that are, oh, so true. Good job.
Posted by: Brian | Dec 30, 2021 12:22:01 PM
Real Estate is like your partner, your vehicle, your high definition TV and everything else you possess and want to show off. It's called identification with form. The majority of people prop themselves up and or down by owning toys or things. Sometimes, even your partner is just a "thing" to own.
Posted by: Ray Larder | Dec 30, 2021 1:07:08 PM
Then the agents of real estate are the prostitutes whor.......... of someone's property.
Posted by: Matthew Bailey | Dec 30, 2021 4:42:21 PM
It's shame many people compare themselves to other people. I used to as well until I educated myself not to. You'll never be happy if this is the race you play in.
I for one do not want a big house ever and would much rather travel the world and be location independent. Otherwise, it's all a rat race.
Posted by: victor | Dec 30, 2021 10:35:49 PM
Real Estate brings pleasure like sex when it produce income other wise its a liabillity and a turn off
Posted by: William | Dec 31, 2021 9:29:46 AM
Brian... thanks for clearing that up. All my life I had thought that owning a house was for a place to live, or owning a car was for transportation. Now I realize that the 4 houses and 6 cars that I own are really only to show off. I am not sure who I am showing off too, since I don't give a rat's behind what other people own or what they think or know about me. I guess I should sell all my "toys" and just sleep on a park bench.
Posted by: Brian | Dec 31, 2021 3:14:55 PM
William . . . You're welcome! There is a difference between living simply in a 2000 square foot house with a basic car and owning a luxurious 5000+ square foot house and driving a luxury vehicle. As it pertains to sex and relationships, perhaps the individual who dreams or lives the the latter also dreams of attracting the trophy whereas the former prefers a more natural, simple and reliable partner. What you own reflects your values and how much you own is also a reflection of your values.
Posted by: Freya nielsen | Dec 31, 2021 6:21:24 PM
Brian you are so right! When I see someone with too much house or too many vehicles, I actually judge them a little. I am very well off but it is "invisible", in RRSP's and TFSA's. My car is 9 yrs old (bought it last year) and I sold my house to rent one bc I believe Canada has a huuuuge RE bubble about to burst badly.
When people show off stuff, I think they are actually quite empty on the inside and have a need to be better than others. I find that to be very unattractive in a person.
William, you have some personal issues to sort out because they are there with all that crap you own.
Have you ever heard of charity?
Posted by: William | Dec 31, 2021 9:09:13 PM
@ Brian and Freya... I was being sarcastic. Are you two that dense? I own 4 houses because I want to own 4 houses and use them for vacations and a change in scenary. I have 6 cars, so what? I use them for different occasions and purposes, like owning different suits. I am quite rich and well known and respected internationally for my accomplishments in engineering design and research, and I get paid accordingly (not to mention all the non-monetary perks). People like you that judge me are the ones with the real issues. Most people I know do not even know what I own, so as I mentioned before, I do not flaunt my wealth. Do you have any idea what it is like to get up each morning and want to go to work, to enjoy it immensely, and to choose when and where to work, or even decide not to work because you can afford not to? Ah yes, if this life seems empty to you, then you are brain dead. By the way, I have heard of charity. You have no right to tell what I should do with my wealth. I only spend it on my family and those that deserve it. I laugh at people like you.
Posted by: Jack Lindon | Dec 31, 2021 9:29:59 PM
@Brain and Freya... I have to side with William. I am not wealthy, but well off. People like you who judge others are the ones with the problem. Do you honestly believe that the people that own the 10,000 sq. ft. house on the water front, or the Ferrari in the driveway are just showing off? You would only feel this way if you were jealous and want what they have. Since when is it bad to own something nice that you can afford? If William enjoys his many homes, then all the power to him. When I was a student, I bought a very small house because that was well within my means. After 50 years, I have earned enough to own a very modest 3,000 sq. ft. home on Lake Huron, with the most incredible private beach and view of the sunset. It cost me a fortune, but it was well within my means and I have more than enough money put away in RRSPs, TFSAs, and multiple tax shelters (not to mention my huge pension) to enjoy my long retirement. I guess to you, I am showing off! If that is what you think, then tough!!!
Posted by: Cuckhold Don | Jan 1, 2022 12:13:50 AM
Some intresting banter here!
Not owning anything sounds like the song(Me & Bobby Magee)--Nothing left to lose!
I'm not shure what (Less than poor) call wealthy these day(North americans) don't admit to being well off or wealthy anymore!
As a person Who lived extreemly well for a couple decades--I can honestly say--It's all in perception!
I knew I was doing well(had the toys to prove it!
But it really wasn't to show off--They were to use& aprcetiate!
I came from an extreemly poor family& allways knew I didn't want that for my family or myself!
I worked very hard(but allso was LUCKY)!
We(people) tend to live/work& play with folks in our own social-economic circle so as we get wealthy or even rich we cannot see how good we have it because the folks we know are at least as well off as we are/that just makes us think we are just plain working joes!(easy to forget where you came from)
Now I itierally lost everything-Have managed to get another house but it is (shall we say modest)& am working for others at about min. wage But to tell you the truth I do miss some of the toys(NOT for showing off but for fun!
I still know a few wealthy(they don't think thier rich though) there at the other end--they don't show it off they just save&save little for charitys-will do without when they don't have to so they get richer(I would call it Hoarding)
They will end up rich dead folks!Not much fun in life though!
Life "Should" be about balance/ Enjoying life as you go!
The rich will never understand the poor& visa-versa because niether really talks to the other& each has preconcieved notions(most of wich are excagerated!
Posted by: Brian | Jan 1, 2022 12:53:32 PM
Too many are taking my original comments as a personal assault which it was not meant to be. I may have hit a nerve. All I stated was that the typical human condition is that people are closely associated with their possessions and they tend to identify with those possessions. I am not making any judgment about what you do or don't own. That's your business and only you know your intentions for your decision to own a Ferrari over a Volkswagen. There can be no doubt that what you do own reflects your values. Rene Descarte famous quote "I think therefore I am" could be appropriately modified to "I own therefore I am".
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Posted by: Tenacious Otter | Jan 1, 2022 2:29:31 PM
Somehow I think the posts lost track of the question here. That being " Is realestate just like sex". I read the article, I do believe there are alot of valid points that are made, it seems to me that there may be a correlation between the two. What I don't understand amongst the comments is this perception of wealth by property possesion. Any given item is subject to market condition ie. what someone is willing to pay/trade for it. Now if you owned say 4 houses and six vehicles and numerous other toys in say the summer of 29. You could very well have found yourself in the position of being land poor by the end of 1930. A common term in the 30's, land poor wasn't because you owned these things, it was because of the inability of individuals to pay what is known as land taxes. Due to a depressed economy and the inability to generate cash flows. Okay so I do own properties, and yes I tend to agree that there is something sexy about the purchase of property, but something I've never forgotten about those properties is the fact of the prepetual mortgage to municipal, provincial and federal governments in the form of taxation that may force a forfeiture of said properties due to the inability to pay that perpetual mortgage. In this respect I wouldn't say that realestate is just like sex, but more closely related to sex and marriage. A marriage between yourself, or selves if you have a wife or husband, and the governments to which you are beholden to for tax revenues, and reminded of every annum. You don't have to remember the anniversary, it'll come in the mail, and many more reminders will come if you fail to live up to your obligations. Fail to live up to your obligation, and just like marriage it could get messy.
Posted by: William | Jan 1, 2022 5:10:56 PM
@William...Yes it seems that some comments were taken as a direct assault against me. In fact, my rebuttal was mostly directed at Freya rather than you, so my apologies. Freya's comments were absolutely disgusting. What kind of a sick person would delibrately insult a stranger by calling their homes "crap", or their cars "crap". I would be shocked if Freya has any friends. What is wrong with owning multiple homes? Or mutliple cars? Is it a crime? Or immoral? I can see that as a problem if it is beyond your means and you are only accumulating things to "keep up with the Joneses". Now back to the article. I wouldn't quite equate real estate with sex, and it is not just about physical comfort, but a place to feel safe, secure, and at peace. That is my view. Over the years, my wife and I, and our kids, have frequently cruised around looking at homes for sale. We enjoy looking at what others have done with their properties, and once in a while we find one that just fits us perfectly and buy it if the conditions are right. Our most recent purchase, was just that. Our principle residence is in a city, while our other homes are waterfront properties. We use these as our getaways, vacations, places to sit back, share with our relatives, and enjoy life. We could also travel around the world, but... been there.. done that...
Posted by: William | Jan 2, 2022 1:51:42 PM
Oops.. my last post should have started with @Brian...
Posted by: Shadow | Jan 3, 2022 8:45:48 AM
My only problem with owning multiple cars/houses or just plain huge houses is that they sit unused/vacant while millions of people across the world are homeless and starving. I feel that at least if you feel the need to own so much, you should at least rent it out cheap to help others instead of just having whimsical items laying around. Or better yet, sell a house and open a charity or business to make some jobs. It's awesome you love your job and your houses and such but I mean, don't you feel bad sometimes? I'm totally poor and I feel that way, and I have nothing to offer anyone really!! Other then a helping hand and a little love :).