Is real estate actually just like sex?
"What do college students talk about with their roommates?''
Sex, according to author Marjorie Garber.
Twenty years later, what’s the main topic of conversation with their friends and associates?
You got it: Real estate — and with the same gleam in the eyes, she declares in her book Sex and Real Estate.
When it comes to real estate, just like sex, we always want a bit more, says Gina Barreca, one-half of a he-said, she-said column called Irreconcilable Differences. And things don't just stop there.
“You're convinced everyone has more of it than you do. You want it wherever you can get it. You wonder how you will know when the timing is right and you fear making a big mistake.
You wonder what you'll do with it once you get it. You imagine its contours, textures, and impact on your life. You wonder what your friends will think. Will they envy you or think you're overdoing it?”
Real estate is sexy because it's about physical comfort and bodily pleasure, and it seems to create an appetite for itself. That's why it's fascinating to see what other people have — and what they've decided to do with it, she says.
“Of course size matters, as does the number of previous owners, the shape they left it in, and whether or not it slumps, leans, drains well or leaks.
What's around it matters, what age it is matters, what it looks like matters, and yes, the décor matters.”
Is a cigar just a cigar? Or is real estate’s allure actually that powerful?
By Gordon Powers, MSN Money
Posted by: Trixie | Jan 3, 2022 9:03:33 AM
Well said "Cuckhold Don." I understand what you are saying and completely agree.
I came from a richer family and married down. Even though I love my husband and family, there is definitely a difference in which the different segments of society live and think. Incidentally, it is true that if you come from wealth, you are luckier than if you are raised poor. On the other hand, most of the poor people I know have spent their whole lives being bitter. I think to myself, what a waste of a life. Work hard, enjoy it and enjoy play too.
Posted by: Tenacious Otter | Jan 3, 2022 10:18:43 AM
Trixie, don't discount the value of growing up in a balanced functional family that is challenged monetarily. I'd rather grow up poor in a balanced family, than rich in a disfunctional one. In fact I believe it was a major contributor to my ability to generate income throughout my own life. I don't believe it's necessarily true that coming from wealth is better. Although I will say that if other factors are in place it may be an advantage. I also agree that defining ones own life based on what one sees around you is a poor way to define ones self.
Posted by: Trixie | Jan 3, 2022 10:46:39 AM
The only way I disagree with you Mr. Otter--I'd much rather have money and be in a dysfunctional family. The reason being, I have money to go places and experience other cultures or have any kind of fun I prefer. While watching very poor people I have noticed that they hardly have money for the TV they are watching, and even then, doesn't it get boring watching TV all the time? Poor people just have an existence, unless they have the ambition to make something of themselves, like yourself and then they are no longer poor. Another point, thinking about what another person said, it's not up to the rich to supply for the poor. So, it's ok to have as many houses, cottages, cars, etc. that you can afford. Enjoy them.
Posted by: William | Jan 3, 2022 11:48:25 AM
@Shadow...yes, you are right, owning multiple homes means that they do sit vacant for some time. I have heard the argument before that there are millions of people around the world without a home, and that I should feel bad that I have so many. My dog lives much better than these people so should I kill it and give the money that I would have spent on dog food and vet bills go to these people as well? No one in this world has the right to tell (or even suggest) to me what I should do will my money. I have often pondered whether or not to rent out my homes. I have on occasion done this with relatives, who need a place for their vacation. I had rented out a house before, while I was a university student, and decided never to do it again. Some tenants are just plain nasty and completely irresponsible, and the risk of getting a bad one (even with references) is too high. My current principle residence was a rental home. I purchased it from my family doctor. The house, though in a moderately high end neighbourhood, was run down and was on the market for 4 years. The tenants did nothing to look after the place and there was a lot of resentment from the neighbours. I saw past the surface and purchased the house far below market value and restored it.
You say that you are poor and feel that way. That is truly unfortunate and I have no idea what your situation is. I came from a poor background as well. My parents were victims of WWII and had their land and home taken by the Russians. They came to Canada to start over, with no money and no formal education. They came over with other relatives and they stuck together to help each other get started. Some of them purchased huge tracts of land in the Waterloo area for farming with very little money at that time, gradually built up their wealth through hard work, and now own homes in different countries. My parents worked hard at menial jobs and saved enough to buy their first home, and eventually their second home (or actually a cottage) on a beautiful lake north of Toronto. Times were quite different then, and you could purchase cottage property with very little money. My parents were often criticized by friends for owning more than one property, because of the extra taxes, and extra work, high insurance, etc. But all that aside, we have the fondest memories of the time we spent there. My father passed away 10 years ago, but my mother still maintains her two properties, but now with my financial assistance.
Posted by: Steve | Jan 3, 2022 12:15:15 PM
Just want to say- very interesting dialogue, nice to see comments that stay on thread, add insight, and aren't rude or ignorant. For me, if real estate is like sex it would explain why my wife and I have had 3 propertys in 5 years and sex only as many times!
Posted by: Not William | Jan 3, 2022 12:57:03 PM
It seems a shame that there seem to be a bunch of 12 year olds on here who not only fail to read or understand the article but try to make up for 'inadequacies' through bragging about houses & cars they clearly don't own. Which, in a rich irony is almost exactly like sex. Those who aren't or can't get any are the loudest & most vocal.
Posted by: Jack | Jan 3, 2022 6:22:36 PM
Interesting reading some of the comments. @Not William, I don't see any bragging in this blog. The only 12 year old (if that) appears to be you, and your comments are clearly indicative of you own inadequacies. Try adding some useful or meaningful dialog.
Posted by: Clia | Jan 3, 2022 11:08:23 PM
William, Jack and many other idiots writing similar messages,
Enjoy your pathetic possessions and pathetic lives. People can be way happier with just one house. And it doesn't mean they are less valuable or educated than you. Of course, they don't show off on the Internet and have no need for this.
No wonder this world is going down and there is so much hatred! As long as you exist, there will be millions to hate people like you, your pathetic and wasteful lifestyle and your existance.
Keep doing it and you will get what you deserve!!!
Posted by: To Clia: | Jan 4, 2022 8:08:29 AM
You are one angry person. How do you know that someone is "way happier" with just one house? Have you ever tried having 2 or more? It sounds like you are the hateful one here. Why though?
Posted by: don | Jan 4, 2022 1:50:28 PM
Which is more important money and cars and houses or people? By our actions, our society says money is. Yes, a few can get very rich while thousands starve. Capitalism as we know it. Like it or not the system is seriously flawed. The only ones who dont see it are the ones who benefit most and are holding the power in these companies. Most Companies have no human identity so they ultimatley dont care (even if they say they do...it is smoke and mirrors aimed at increasing profits) Corporations are not good citizens, they arent even people. There sole purpose it make money at any cost. It is the non-human entity that we have given all the money and power to. Of course they wont take care of the people, it is not cost effective to do so. It is not thier mandate . Corruption hides behind these non human corporations. No human identity makes no one accountable and it is a free for all. Take what you can get and to *ell with everyone else. This article wants compares sex (and love?) to real estate. They arent comparable and will never be in my mind. How can you even compare human emotion to business? To compare them shows you hold money and wealth in as high or higher regard than humanty but is sure makes for a good argument :)
Posted by: Jack | Jan 4, 2022 2:40:18 PM
@Clia... the only one full of hatred here is you. Wow, you have some serious issues. What do you know about what makes others happy. Like some else already mentioned, how do you know that people would be happier with only one house? Who died and made you the supreme judge of all that is right and wrong? I used to rent an apartment when I was a student. I hated it. My first house was very small, but it was all I could afford, and I was happier having a place of my own. Now I am entering retirement and own a moderately large house and a cottage, and am very, very happy. So much for your theory. Most of my colleagues and friends own multiple homes. And by the way, no one mentioned in any post that people who own only one home are less valuable or educated. Where did that come from, other than from within your own head and your own feeling of self worth (or lack thereof). Rest assured Clia, I am getting exactly what I deserve, a very peaceful, enjoyable retirement. Furthermore, I reread William's posts, and there was no bragging. He was merely arguing that just because people have these possessions does not mean that they are showing off. Yes, yes, some people obviously do show off, but you cannot generalize. Furthermore, not all wealthy people acquired their wealth by dishonest means.
Posted by: Jack | Jan 4, 2022 2:49:25 PM
@Clia .. I just want to add one more comment. If YOU are happy owning only one house, then terrific? All the power to you. Be content with what you have and do not condemn those that are different. When you do, it shows that you are not content, only bitter and angry.
Posted by: Western Guy | Jan 4, 2022 6:44:42 PM
I grew up in a family that had 4 homes and large spreads of land the entire time I grew up. It gave me a very good perspective when growing up. I have come to realize that home for me is where my family is, regardless of the location. I personally think having multiple homes is a good thing for a family as it allows you to get away from it all but still have the homely amenities.
I would say that sex and real estate are similar as there is never enough of either to make everybody happy.
So I was raised in a modestly wealthy family and taught the skills to be successful and have a similar life. I struggle with how other people consider this to be a bad thing. For my 2 siblings familiies, my parents and my own family now the tally is 11 homes, over 20km squared of land and 16 vehicles. Does this make us bad people? This prosperity has been created from our own work and us having these things doesn't mean others have less. My family are honest people that have worked hard and have succeeded at life. Others have done better (Bill Gates jumps to mind) but I don't begrudge them their success nor do I want others to begrudge mine.
So I guess what I am saying is that the multiple home lifestyle is a healthy lifestyle that can teach children a lot of good traits for later in life and that our prosperity doesn't come at other's expense.
Posted by: Lisa | Jan 4, 2022 8:22:16 PM
Hey "Western Guy"...good for you! You are one of the lucky ones, at the top. Be happy. Your family is part of the small percentage in Canada. Again, be happy. Your family got very lucky.
To "don"...if we don't have companies, we don't have places for the "litte guy" to work. Wouldn't you rather have a little bit of money than none at all? And yes...money is held in high regard because it's what gives people things (rich and poor) that make us happy. If I'm wrong, you wouldn't be complaining about corporations.
Posted by: Shadow | Jan 5, 2022 3:03:20 AM
I meant no such thing! I'm just saying, I don't understand that. And I am trying to save for school and such, but I've been supporting myself since 14 and child since 19, and I'm not even mildly bitter, it just makes me sad to think of things not being used/enjoyed most of the time. And of course don't kill your dog! That's totally awesome you take care of him and spoil him. I merely said that if I were well off my goal would be a residual income with helping as many souls as I could and was just trying to enlighten a few people along the way! And I'd only mildly agree with the rental statement, as most land lords let their own houses run down. I don't know anyone who has let their rental go to seed, it's the land lord that refuses to call back or even show up for rent money till the lease is over and demand a lump sum because they didn't want to deal with broken appliances or flooding. We actually fixed the tub and such ourselves after waiting, since I also am bothered by showering and wreaking someones house even if they seem not to care!
Posted by: don | Jan 5, 2022 10:30:00 AM
Coprorations are what they are. I am just saying dont expect them to care for people. That isnt not what they are about.The simple fact is corportions will move jobs and money to other countries. We have spent until there is nothing left, no opportunity for the huge growth the developing nations and their large populations will give them. In order to make more money companies need the new consumers of the new developing countries. They are the consumers of the future and we are on a downhill path. Their low wages will rise and allow them to purchase more, in the meantime companies will enjoy (short term) lower wages costs, the people will have higher paying jobs, giving them more money to spend on products these companies produced and hence more profits. It is a cycle. It is what it is...just dont expect these corporations to care about the general population they will lay off and leave behind...they dont.
Posted by: Lisa | Jan 5, 2022 1:54:05 PM
So, what you are saying don, it's a cycle. That I agree with. I also think to myself, why are we worried about jobs going to other countries? Are we jealous? Why don't we just offer our companies more, so they won't want to go to other countries. For example, take lower wages, less benefits and less holidays, and yes, lose some of the "toys." Get a better attitude towards life. Maybe live by better moral standards all the way around and the companies will want us.
By the way, it's not up to the company to "care about the general population." It is up to companies to have ingenuity to have the company that hires the employees that give everyone that is willing to work...money...and everyone loves money. (However, in defence of companies, many at the top do give to charities.)
Posted by: don | Jan 5, 2022 4:37:45 PM
Lisa: I think the problem is with "giving more as you say " when they are giivng less. Less pay...less employees...less job securty. I dont think moral standards have much to do with big business. They are not people and dont hold the morals of people when push comes to shove.
I guess this can go back to the sweat house arguement......are you benefing a poor countrys people if you pay them more money but still leave them poor while you take extra profits, or are you taking advantge of them? . It is right or wrong....I dont know but i do know companies are not people and we cant expect them to behave or have the morals or people.
Posted by: Lisa | Jan 5, 2022 8:06:39 PM
I believe there is nothing wrong with taking profits if you are the genius behind the company. ie. CEO. If we didn't have corporations, in today's day, we wouldn't have most of the jobs that we do have in North America. Secondly... yes I believe that I am benefiting the people in poor countries by buying products made by them and I feel good about it. That is not the reason I buy the product. However, if noone in North America will make the product that I want at a fair price, then I have no problem buying a product from someone who WILL make it. (That refers to the employee having morals, NOT the employer.) Anyway, lastly, I was referring to people like Bill Gates. I have watched documentaries on that man. He is a brilliant man, which in my opinion is why he is so rich. Ultimately, every penny he makes doesn't have to be given to a soul, just because. However, he does give to charities and I have a high respect for a man (or woman) like that.
Posted by: Clia | Jan 5, 2022 9:19:10 PM
Like I said before and many others: Jack, William and the other idiots. You are hateful, because you came back to explain your pathetic behaviour, greed and wasteful lifestyle. Now, go enjoy the lonely and sad llife you have and kiss my ass!
Yes, all the wealth has been made at somebody else's expense. But you are too ignorant or just morons to know all of this. Don't bother to write back, because I won't read your stupid posts ever again. What a bunch of screwed up people!