At what point do you ask your partner about their credit history?
There are no murkier waters than those governing the relationship between romance and money.
Certainly, there are no rules, and perhaps that’s where we get stuck. There is no guidebook for when to ask, say, how much a date earns as a salary, or how much they’ve got saved in the bank.
If there is one thing becoming clear, though, it’s that the recession has lifted some of the taboo around wondering about your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s financials.
In fact, according to the New York Times, things like credit scores are now becoming as important in the dating world as a good head of hair or straight set of teeth.
A recent NYT feature by Jessica Silver-Greenberg details the rise of practicing safe finances in dating, a trend that appears to be very real.
*Bing: How is a credit score calculated?
“What’s your credit score?” was the question popped to one thirtysomething woman on a recent first date, a brazen inquisition the Times surmises is an all more common occurrence today.
“Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test,” says one executive of a financial advisory firm. “It’s a shorthand way to get a sense of someone’s financial past the same way an STD test gives some information about a person’s sexual past.”
Perhaps it’s not such a stretch. As is everything in a marriage, one partner is often tied to the other. So, if you get hitched with someone that’s financially illiterate, with a credit history less desirable than NHL lockout stories, that’s on you, too. All of a sudden, the mortgage rate you’re eligible for might increase. Maybe your auto insurance also goes up.
So the problem now becomes: how, and when, do I ask?
That’s an age-old question that may never be answered, but new-age solutions are already here.
To combat the unmentionable, dating sites with credit histories in mind have hit the web. No, really: they’re called CreditScoreDating.com and DateMyCreditScore.com.
How important is fiscal responsibility to you when choosing a man or woman? When would you ask about credit history?
By Jason Buckland, MSN Money
Posted by: Dave | Dec 28, 2021 12:20:01 PM
Speaking from a guy's perspective, if a woman were to ask me my credit score a mountain of red flags would go up and any thoughts of marriage would immediately go out the window.
One should be able to get an idea of how a person handles money over the 6 months to 2+ years of dating + engagement to get a rough idea.
That said. My wife was incredibly frugal as a girlfriend, fiancee and newlywed. However.. When the children arrived she began to spend like a drunken sailor and would (given the opportunity) to this day.
I guess what I'm saying is that if you're going to be needing a third party to figure out if your partner is responsible, you'd probably best just stick with dating and keeping separate addresses with any partner you have. Failing that, put your assets into a blind trust and just draw a weekly allowance.
Posted by: Linda | Dec 28, 2021 12:55:12 PM
I agree 100% with Dave. Although my credit score isn't super stellar it isn't in the trash can either. After 1 experience with bankruptcy many years ago (company troubles)-I learned my lesson and am watching what I do. However, I will admit, being single when I look to date a prospective partner I take into account their type of job (income). I do that not that I intend on living off them but can they pull their own weight financially in a relationship.
Posted by: perplexed | Jan 2, 2022 9:39:26 AM
It wouldn't do any good to ask your partner their credit history. When I met my husband, he had a bad credit score, although he didn't tell me this until several years after marriage, and I hadn't thought to ask either. However, when I met him he was very careful with his money. Then, his credit score improved over the years with his marriage to me, and then he hit "mid-life" crisis and decided the world owed him, and started spending. I had to sit him down and have a discussion with him to find out about his "mid-life" crisis and why the change of behaviour. At that point, the spending stopped. I don't have a good answer to this question except keep open communication.