Marriages, sex lives suffer if wives are better educated than husbands
In marriage, as in life, inequality is certain, no matter the union.
In terms of economics, this can come in many forms. Women, as we have discussed here until we've been red in the face, earn far less than men, as a rule.
But women, as is the growing trend, are also becoming far more educated than their male counterparts; in the U.S., about 135 women are enrolled in colleges and universities for every 100 men. Such compensation patterns between genders, many have surmised, may soon adjust to better align with the education levels of the workforce.
However you slice it, though, education, compensation and employment have very real effects in a marriage. Even, as one study shows, in the bedroom.
According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, marriage inequalities in terms of education and employment level tend to lead to dissatisfied relationships, as well as a real bummer in the sack.
*Bing: Why do women earn less than men?
The study, which was based off Pew Research Center data and face-to-face interviews with more than 1,000 participants, found that a woman’s satisfaction in her marriage drops by 40 per cent when she’s better educated than her husband (compared to a marriage where both parties are equally educated).
Further, men admitted their satisfaction with marriage decreases by 64 per cent when they’re unemployed and their wives are not, compared to when both parties are working.
Worse for guys, men admitted they are less satisfied with their sex life when their wives are better educated than them.
On the surface, this all seems like a big ol’ case of sour grapes for men, and it’d be tough to argue otherwise.
But the study also shows a very real effect, which has likely gone unspoken in modern marriages.
The best bet for a happy marriage among traditional couples may call for very defined roles. According to the study, men need to feel they are the earners, the providers, in a union for it to work. That is, work for them.
For women, then, should you become one of the few that earn more than their husbands, it seems you’re losing that way now, too.
Posted by: mascaren | Nov 26, 2021 9:27:59 AM
Well..............education is more than a framed certificate or diploma.Life skills is what is important in a marriage,the ability to support each other emotionally and make each other feel like an equal partner in the marriage.The ability to realize when you are wrong and apologize to each other.
I am a firm believer that if someone has to keep reminding the spouse about their higher level of education,they are insecure emotionally.
Posted by: Mike | Nov 26, 2021 2:43:04 PM
I'm not sure that these patterns are a result of the higher earning women constantly reminding their husband that they earn more than they do, they may have never mentioned it once during the course of the marriage.
The problems usually arise in a veiled manner, if the husband just generally feels inadequate this can present itself in a wide variety of ways that won't necessarily be linked back to the earning discrepancy. This general dissatisfaction plays itself out in multiple ways and multiple avenues and infiltrates many aspects of the relationship.
Posted by: Mr. Negative | Nov 26, 2021 3:54:35 PM
regardless of earnings, most women run there houses and men anyways. This just confirms that they are in charge. Us men have to deal with it. After all, behind every great women is a mediocre man. ha ha.
Posted by: SP | Nov 27, 2021 12:07:49 AM
There are power dynamics in every relationship. However relationships where the wife loses respect for the husband's financial capacity tend not to be as long lasting as traditional relationships. In our present society where grand scale financial theft is glorified and bribing politicians to ensure a stream of billions is lauded, one cannot really expect any more from the average woman than the worship every walking wallet, or corporate thief.
The education irony of course is that women succeed in modern education only because it has been jury-rigged to favour their talents. Ask yourself why girls do so much better in school now than boys. Or why mathematical requirements have been gutted from many university courses to ensure that the 60% percent + of all students (female) can get through and provide a measure of 'equality'.
As a society we do a long term disservice to our young families and our grandchildren, great grandchildren etc by continuing to drag out this experiment.
You might say that I'm a crank, but ask yourself. What traditionally happens when a large group of young men feel that they have been shut out from participating in society. Do they go home to cry and knit something to calm their nerves? Or do they eventually follow the lead of the youth in Egypt, Libya, Syria, Tunisia, Yemen etc, etc, etc and create wide scale carnage starting with those at the top.
I assure you that life for women in those countries hasn't improved in the past year or two. Continue on and see if "We're different"...
Posted by: Colour of money | Nov 28, 2021 3:15:18 PM
My wife and I never thought of ourselves as traditional in any sense, and in a few senses are deeply nontraditional. Still, because I work very close to home and she works far away, I get home with the kids much earlier than she does. Consequently, I spend more time at the daycare and know the daycare workers and my kids' friends. I cook supper, and often put them to bed before she gets home.
Despite considering herself nontraditional, she feels left out. I call the kitchen MY kitchen and like things done my way. She feels, though can't really argue, that it should be HER kitchen as she is the woman. I know the daycare workers and she does not. Another gender role reversal.
The gender roles are deeper than any of us realize. Not necessarily genetic, but deeply rooted nonetheless.
If a woman is more educated than her husband, or makes more money, I can see how that can cause a strain even in people who can't rationally justify the tension.
Posted by: Kelly | Nov 29, 2021 1:26:42 AM
Why does society waste so much time, energy, and money educating women anyways? Education is better invested in men. Males are naturally smarter, more commited to work, perform at a higher level in general, and are more emotionally stable. Women always want to have babies and leave the office early to rush home to their kids.
I think the problem comes from women who PERCEIVE themselves as being better educated. If they THINK that they are better educated, then they walk around like their crap doesn't stink.
For example, I have a Commerce Degree with a major in Finance. I work in a bank as an Investment manager. I know a woman who comes in who is a lawyer. She struts around and ASSUMES that she's more educated than me, when in reality, I've had to do incredibly complicated mathematics in Finance that she could NEVER handle. If she tried to pass Corporate Finance, I guarantee she would fail. She could not get a Commerce Degree with a Finance major. I, on the other hand, could have easily breezed through law, if I chose. So I am superior to her. I could have done law, but there's no way she could have done Finance. However, since she's a lawyer, she walks around with attitude and thinks she's hot stuff. I might just decide to grab her and bang her in the butt one day and teach her who's boss...
Posted by: Dave | Nov 29, 2021 4:13:56 AM
Kelly A very poor attempt at Trolling F-
If you are going to try to emulate an uneducated male 'bigging' himself up, the very least you could do is emulate the proper writing style. Sorry but men demand better writing that you'll find in your latest copy of 50 shades.
Posted by: Sgh | Nov 29, 2021 8:45:03 AM
What in God's name is this article? I disagree completely. And yes, Kelly should definitely just grab the law student and bang her in the butt.
Posted by: ray larder | Nov 29, 2021 11:08:48 PM
In case you haven't noticed, men and women are different, whether they are educated or not.
Yes, they may use their power against the other, but they only end up hurting themselves, you cannot make yourself "happier"with money or an education, you only have more things.
Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.