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July 25, 2021

Penile length linked to economic growth: study

To get an accurate picture of the modern economy, common sense suggests scouring the world’s business headlines.

Istockphoto_7828712-businessman-without-pants-isolated-on-white After all, where else can you find debt ceiling information, unemployment figures and inflation forecasts?

But for the layman, many of these measures don’t mean squat. For some, we need a more, um, grounded approach to understanding the economy.

Thanks to a Finnish study, then, we may have one. According to a new survey, the economic prospects of a country may directly correlate to the size of its male citizen’s sex organs.

No, seriously! The survey, pitted against the good-Lord-I-can’t-believe-this-is-a-real-thing global penile length distribution map, a University of Helsinki grad student found an apparently direct relation between penis size and economic growth.

By the survey’s findings, there’s an inverted U-shaped relationship between the two, suggesting that those nations with the smallest and biggest reported penile lengths have the slowest economic growth, while those countries in the middle of that “U” fare the best.

Click on the study for more info (of course, there’s more to it than we can summarize here) but if you’re curious, and I know you are, the survey supports that the world’s poorest regions, Asia and Africa, also fall on the outer ends of the inverted U-shape mentioned above.

(Alright, I’ll bite: according to the remarkable global penile length distribution map, North and South Korea, at an average of 3.8 inches, are measured as the world’s smallest, while the Democratic Republic of the Congo, at an average of 7.1 inches, are the world’s largest. Though an important note: the Congo’s figures are “self-reported,” which would be an exercise in honesty roughly akin to asking RIM execs, “Do you believe the roof is caving in?")

By Jason Buckland, MSN Money



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Gordon PowersGordon Powers

A long-time fund company executive, Gordon Powers now heads up the Affinity Group, a financial services consulting firm. Gordon was a personal finance columnist for the Globe & Mail for many years, has taught retirement planning...

Jason BucklandJason Buckland

The modern-day MC Hammer of money, Jason can often be seen spending cash that isn’t his with the efficiency of a Wilt Chamberlain first date. After cutting his teeth as a reporter for the Toronto Sun, he joined the MSN Money team with...