Disinheriting family members can be tough to do

Wait... so you can't use the promise of an inheritence to have your children stay close and take care of you and then exclude them from your will when you die? Next thing you'll be telling me that we can't stiff our children/grandchildren with huge education and pension debts and hugely inflated housing while we live a guilded pension lifestyle with free prescriptions our grandchildren could only dream of. That's it, I'm voting Liberal again.

This is complete foolishness. What is the purpose of having a will, if someone else (government) is going to step in and change it. The purpose of the will is for the individual to be able to decide what happens to his or her assets after he or she dies. Period. The government should step out and if you don't get something from your parents will so what? Make your own money.

Yes, I grew up with money, and yes, I was disinherited, in my opinion, for no good reason. Then again, when does someone think they should have been disinherited? Did I fight when my parents died? No. It was something final, a will. I got told by my lawyer that I didn't have a chance at winning.
Yes, Liz, I agree with what you say about "so what make your own money." However, in my case I got told I would get everything and didn't need a good job. So, in my early years I didn't try to get a good job because I didn't think I needed one. I thought I was provided for. I got lied to by my own flesh and blood. So, now I"m older, with a decent job, not many complaints, but because I relied on my own parents not to lie to me, I ended up on the losing end. Was that fair? No.

Simple. Spend it all before you die.. then, there is nothing for them to fight over except who is going to pay for the funeral. And if there is more than you can spend, set up Trust Funds for the offspring who have taken care of you your whole life and put the money in there for them. That way, nobody, not their spouse, not even the Government or any Lawyer can get their hands on it in order to give it to the ungrateful, selfish ones who only want your money. There is always more then one way to solve an issue. What happened to our "free country" and "freedom of choice"?

Lia, do you really believe that it's only "ungrateful, selfish ones" who get cut out of wills? What about the cases where a daughter cares for an elderly parent for years, and yet her brother gets the bulk of the inheritance simply because he's a male? Does that seem fair to you? It certainly doesn't to me.

Trixie, you not getting a job is your own fault. You are telling me that you were waiting to get an inheritance in order to be financially stable are you serious. That's the problem with people today. They want the easy way. They no longer value what hard work is so they depend on someone else's hard work to take care of them and then when it doesn't happen they complain about how unfair it is. Guess what people, life isn't fair.

My mother stopped talking to me 20 years ago for no reason that I can see. She was led around by the nose by an ex family member who is pretty much working her. Mum had started losing her mental abilities approx 40 years ago. How can a will made by a mentally incapable person stand as free will?

While I agree that it isn't the governments job to step in and distribute one's money as they see fit...it isn't entirely black and white.

There are situations in which siblings conspire and manipulate their older parents to write other children out of their will, Anna Nicole Smith egs...perhaps it could be a function of how long a specified inheritance distribution was stipulated. If the parents have had an inheritance distribution implemented and updated in a similar fashion for 40 years....the government shouldn't go anywhere near that....if, one child was written out of the will in the eleventh hour when the parent was 94 and suffering from dementia: well, someone should step in and redistribute equitably. The problem is that a continuum exists in the area from one extreme to the other.

I am certain that my parent have disinherted my brother and I. Good riddance! They were using their house and various other possessions as a way to control us - and our wives. Whenever the subject came up I always maintained that it was their money (and house) and that they could do whatever they wanted with it. All I wanted was a normal relationship - not a painful memory. When the estate inheritance does eventually become an issue I won't contest it. For all his faults, my Dad did teach me one important - and somewhat distorted - lesson: don't rely on anyone for handouts. Frankly, I fell sorry for them. An empty house and thousands of dollars in gold and RRSPs are no substitute for family.

I think you have to look at where these traditions of leaving everything to the male heir comes from. the act of marriage is about ownership, and when the daughter gets married the father pays for the wedding and walks her down the aisle and gives her away . Traditionally the father would provide for the unmarried daughters , allowing them to stay in the family home that would now be owned by the eldest son . Yes i know things have changed , but the laws haven't . Marraige is still about ownership. In a perfect world equally splitting the assets between the children would be the correct thing to do. But few things are ever fair . What about when one child gets money for a down payment for a house 40 years before the parent passes away. or when one child default on a co signed loan with their parents , many years ago and never pays the parents back . should either one get an equal share of the estate. Is that fair to the other siblings? I think it should be a fair distribution and every situation is different.

I came from a faimily of three,I have one sister that was not a good person,before my parents passed away they went to an esstate lawyer and had there will changed.They were under the understanding that she was not to recive anything....as it turned out if they had not remade a new will my sister would have one third ...even if it was against there wishes in the first will.

I keep telling my parents and in-laws that I do not want a penny when they die. I want them to enjoy their lives to the fullest and not worry about leaving us anything. In a perfect world, they would have a big party the day before they pass to celebrate their lives, which would use up the rest of the inhertance. That seems like a much nicer idea than a funeral to mourn them.

My husband is an only child so there will not be any argueing over who gets what. My brother and I are really close and I know the will at this point has us splitting everything. If my parents decided to change it, that is their choice and I would have no right to complain. It would make me sad, but it is not something that I would contest. An inhertance is a gift, it is not a right.

this is for all the greeddy people out there in this great world of ours ,if you want money then get a job because its not your right to expect anything from your parents,as they were the one who worked hard for it not you . so get a life .because I like what my father did with all his estate he devided it up six months before he died so no one could contest anything

Government just wants to run everyones life these days. Its THEIR will!!! grant them their wishes for god sakes.

I believe any Canadian should have the right to desiminate their estate, as they see fit. I come from a family of four, and one of the kids even had the balls to ask my parents to remortgage so they could have their "inheritance" early to purchase a new home-the response was no and my sbiling cannot understand why...sheesh do I have to spell it out. My folks want to leave that kid's portion to the grandchildren (in trust) because they don't feel he deserves anything. The rest of us know this kid will fight their wishes as they have fought them their whole adult life. He doesn't believe they should enjoy the fruits of their labour and enjoy retirement...for someone like this- the law should honour the parent's wishes of omission.

I said they should write it if anyone fights the will, it goes to charity! It works in other countries, just not the great white north!

Liz, you are right. Life isn't fair. I shouldn't have listened to my parents, as a teenager. I should have worked hard in school to get a good job that I loved. Again Liz, you are right. (A little sarcasm there.) I was a teenager who trusted my parents. Come on! Shouldn't a person (teen at the time)be able to trust their own parents when they get told something? Or can we literally trust noone anymore?
By the way, if you thought I was greedy or unfair, I was always there for my parents, trying to help them out, as they aged. As most children I know, I loved my parents and would do anything for them, whether they had money or not. However, another family member came along, who was very greedy, and decided to bash my name, and the parent who died last listened. In less than a year, my name became mud in the family.
The lesson I learned was, always look out for yourself because you can't trust a soul. In the same token, many people try to trust the gov't. If I couldn't trust my own flesh and blood, I"m definitely not going to attempt to trust the gov't.

I don't know whether or not I have been disinherited but when the time comes, I will find out and if I am, I will be going after the sire and the incubator that brought me into this world. Not a nice way to describe them but what they have done to me is unforgiveable and cannot be forgotten, the scars and wounds run too deep and I intend to get justice. There will be a battle royal I am sure but I am suing for long time emotional and physical abuse that has resulted in a lifetime of hell. I am seriously thinking of doing it while they are still living because money is my mother's god, if there is a way she can take her ill gotten gains with her then she will do anything to do it. while I will do just about anything to take it away from her and it will be legal.

All of you shitheads should get back to work and keep your flaky opinions to yourselves !!!

So, if the "children" are stepchildren, and had not been legally adopted, plus those stepchildren do not keep in contact or visit or write or phone do they deserve to inherit???? I say NO. However, what does the law say on that? they only phone to ask for money and complain when we cannot afford to send any at all. Ungrateful and greedy but they did not want us to adopt them as their mom who is ungrateful and greedier threatened them if they changed their last name!!! The only one true daughter works hard, keeps in contact, visits, calls all the time and actually listens to her real dad. How is it fair that the ungrateful, greedy stepdaughters should inherit anything we have worked so hard for???

I think it is totaly wrong that the government can step in and change your will just because some silly kid thinks they deserve it. Myself, I want everything liquidated and sent to a charity of my choice. NO ONE, kid or siblings will get anything. If the government thinks they can over ride my decission then I better get a good lawyer to write mine up so it is "iron clad". I agree with Liz and anyone else who feels this way. BUTT OUT - this is not your money.