Parents of university-bound children advised to cut the strings
Any parents with adult children in university know that while "kids" like to think they're now on their own, they're often still dependent on Mom and Dad, particularly when it comes to money.
As a result, it's not unusual to receive a phone call or email with a plaintive cry for money. And virtually instant Interac and Paypal transfers only help speed up the wealth transfer.
But are you doing them a favour?
Although it may be tough, be careful how you respond to such requests, warns family therapist Jennifer Kolari, author of You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years With Connected Parenting.
While today’s children seem very precocious, in many other ways they're less mature and more protected than previous generations, she told the Ottawa Citizen.
Children who have everything done for them often fall prey to anxiety and depression when they get to university and suddenly find themselves challenged.
"The problem is that parents often don’t separate," Kolari says. "They’re talking to their child 16 times a day and micro-managing their lives. Universities say parents audit classes and negotiate marks for their children."
Not you, of course.
Nonetheless, some schools have created formal "hit the road" departure rituals designed to hustle parents off campus and encourage students to get it together.
How frequently do you talk with kids away at school? How do you respond when the conversation swings towards money?
Posted by: Steve | Aug 30, 2021 4:44:40 AM
If anyone thinks that a helicopter parent will quit meddling in their childs life they are VERY seriously mistaken.
Don't get me wrong, the baby boomer generation will joyously embrace the financial selfishness message completely.
But to think that they'll stop trying to get their children to do what they want, how they want to do it, and on their schedule is the height of folly.
The message that will be absorbed will be one of demanding financial independence of your children while at the same time dictating where they should live, what careers they should do and how they should raise their children.
Try being married to a child of such a parent and you will quickly discover that you have to make a choice between having financial security and being married