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August 29, 2021

Parents of university-bound children advised to cut the strings

Any parents with adult children in university know that while "kids" like to think they're now on their own, they're often still dependent on Mom and Dad, particularly when it comes to money.

As a result, it's not unusual to receive a phone call or email with a plaintive cry for money. And virtually instant Interac and Paypal transfers only help speed up the wealth transfer.

But are you doing them a favour?

Although it may be tough, be careful how you respond to such requests, warns family therapist Jennifer Kolari, author of You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years With Connected Parenting.

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While today’s children seem very precocious, in many other ways they're less mature and more protected than previous generations, she told the Ottawa Citizen

Children who have everything done for them often fall prey to anxiety and depression when they get to university and suddenly find themselves challenged.

"The problem is that parents often don’t separate," Kolari says. "They’re talking to their child 16 times a day and micro-managing their lives. Universities say parents audit classes and negotiate marks for their children."

Not you, of course.

Nonetheless, some schools have created formal "hit the road" departure rituals designed to hustle parents off campus and encourage students to get it together.

How frequently do you talk with kids away at school? How do you respond when the conversation swings towards money?

By Gordon Powers, MSN Money



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Gordon PowersGordon Powers

A long-time fund company executive, Gordon Powers now heads up the Affinity Group, a financial services consulting firm. Gordon was a personal finance columnist for the Globe & Mail for many years, has taught retirement planning...

Jason BucklandJason Buckland

The modern-day MC Hammer of money, Jason can often be seen spending cash that isn’t his with the efficiency of a Wilt Chamberlain first date. After cutting his teeth as a reporter for the Toronto Sun, he joined the MSN Money team with...