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July 06, 2021

Sign of the times? Coney Island forced to ration toilet paper

Talk about a crappy economy.

1165923_solitary_roll We have every index to measure the world’s finances – the Unclaimed Bodies Index, the Men’s Underwear Index, the Hot Waitresses Index, etc. – but perhaps, in order to properly gauge economic well-being, we need only to turn our heads slightly while sitting on a public toilet.

Yes, maybe we need the Toilet Paper Index. Because, if you buy a story being reported now by the New York Post, the Big Apple is “so hard up” for cash that it’s having to ration bum wipe in public restrooms.

According to the Post, New York City’s Parks Department was caught, on July 4th no less, having to ration toilet paper in the women’s restrooms along the famous Coney Island boardwalk.

“Never in my life have I experienced anything like this,” one beachgoer told the newspaper. “I walked toward a stall, and a bathroom attendant stopped me by shouting, ‘Hey, MAM!  There’s no toilet paper here,’ and she whipped out a big roll for me to grab some.”

A Parks Department rep claimed later that the outfit’s budget is fine and there is no reason to ration TP, but city employees privately told the Post the department hasn’t been properly stocking toilet paper of late, which forced them to form lines in the women’s restrooms on a busy Independence Day at the beach.

For the record, there didn’t appear to be any TP rationing in the men’s washrooms in Coney Island. In fact, says the Post, that’s because there just wasn’t any at all.

Was the toilet paper snafu a budget issue, then, or bureaucratic mix-up? Tough to say just yet, but the story is plenty of fun without knowing.

Said one woman beachgoer, after a female Parks Department worker ripped off a predetermined amount of squares for her bathroom rendezvous, “It’s very weird that someone decides how much paper you get because they don’t know what situation you’re in.

“You might need more!”

Indeed. A true holiday tale.

By Jason Buckland, MSN Money



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Gordon PowersGordon Powers

A long-time fund company executive, Gordon Powers now heads up the Affinity Group, a financial services consulting firm. Gordon was a personal finance columnist for the Globe & Mail for many years, has taught retirement planning...

Jason BucklandJason Buckland

The modern-day MC Hammer of money, Jason can often be seen spending cash that isn’t his with the efficiency of a Wilt Chamberlain first date. After cutting his teeth as a reporter for the Toronto Sun, he joined the MSN Money team with...