Nine of ten Canadian banknotes contain traces of cocaine
By Jason Buckland, Sympatico / MSN Finance
(Insert Chris Farley/Rick James/Courtney Love joke here.)
To be sure, most people see Canadians as toque-wearing ice fishers who swig maple syrup and help old ladies across the road.
But who knew that, on the world’s scale, we should be the ones draped in a cream white blazer, fifty pounds underweight and sniffling while we blast Lady Gaga CDs?
According to the Canadian Press, a new study out of the U.S. shows that a staggering 85 per cent of Canadian banknotes contain trace amounts of cocaine.
Researchers took bills mostly from the Toronto and Sarnia, Ont., areas, but found up to 2,530 micrograms (the equivalent of about 100 grains of sand) of coke on some of the notes tested.
The scene wasn’t any better south of the border where, even without the true, north, strong and free-base habits of Steven Page, an impressive 90 per cent of U.S. bills contained amounts of the drug.
While the Canadian study was admittedly limited (they only tested a fraction of the bills they did in the States), it makes you wonder which cities outside Ontario contain a good chunk of dirty bills.
The L.A. Times found a breakdown of the cities tested in the States and can pretty much pinpoint where the coke hotspots are around the country; Detroit, Boston, Baltimore, Miami, Orlando and L.A. scored the highest.
That’s definitely the kind of info I’d like to have for Canadian cities, if for nothing else than to make wise-cracking observations like, Hmm, Detroit … I wonder if they did a few more eightballs this whole auto industry collapse could’ve been avoided.
In any case, maybe it’s my naivety but I was pretty shocked by the way Canada tested. Yuegang Zuo, the study’s leader had this to say about the findings:
“I’m not sure why we’ve seen this apparent increase, but it could be related to the economic downturn, with stressed people turning to cocaine.”
Whether that’s actually the case is up for debate. What isn’t, though, is – considering Chinese and Japanese currency showed less than 20 per cent contamination – Canada has now proved itself a world leader in tainted drug money.
Stick that in your toque.
Posted by: Don | Aug 19, 2021 5:10:11 PM
If only bills in Toronto and Sarnia were tested then the statement "nine out of 10 Canadian banknotes" has no validity unless the author's Canada only consists of one province.
Posted by: bigted | Aug 19, 2021 6:06:32 PM
The sample size was so small it is hardly an accurate portrayal of the state of our currency and can hardly be all of Canada if only 2 Ontario cities were used.
Posted by: ckim | Aug 20, 2021 9:44:08 AM
It's no wonder we're addicted to money.
Posted by: SOlomon Studenberg | Aug 20, 2021 10:23:43 AM
As far as the tiltle of your piece goes, it is just a symptom of what journalism has become. The only basis in your article confirms that the study includes two cities in Ontario. Why not say so? A study that concludes something about two cities in one province can hardly be called conclusive as to the percentage of notes contaminated across the country. Do you get paid by the words you write? Don't you remember journalism school, if you even went there? Dp you actually realise that most people in Canada believe whatever is written in the internet? This according to a study conducted in Armstrong, Ont., population 350. Sheesh!
Posted by: axiom | Aug 20, 2021 10:49:42 AM
There is no such thing as journalistic integrity anymore. Most, if not ALL the "editorial" articles here on MSN and on Yahoo prove that conclusively.
It's all mis-direction and lack of research.
Posted by: bobby | Aug 20, 2021 11:21:16 AM
western civilization is not happy
Posted by: Dave | Aug 20, 2021 11:27:21 AM
From the original source, the journalist notes that an analysis of 27 Canadian banknotes is not enough to make sweeping generalizations about cocaine use in the country.
Cynics might suggest Flaherty's forecast differentials are the result of too much due diligence in "high finance", and maybe the Canadian Finance Minister should return to his "grass" roots
;)
Posted by: OneHasToWonder | Aug 20, 2021 12:56:27 PM
Ok, so here's my question...how many bills does one tainted bill taint?
I would wager that most people keep their bills together, so if I have a bill with cocaine on it and I put it with all my other money, how many of those otherwise untainted bills become contaminated?
And for that matter, what about people who put their money in those self-check outs at the grocery store? If one tainted bill goes in, does every bill after that become tainted?
If this is the case than maybe it's like the sparkle test in school to show how germs spread. How many of the bills are actually tainted because someone used them to use coke and how many of the bills are tainted because they came in contact with a tainted bill?
Anyone can prove anything if they ask the right question to the right person. Studies like this shouldn't even be publicized. This study hardly proves anything aside from the fact that money is dirty, but anyone who has ever been to a strip club could tell you that!
Posted by: marko | Aug 20, 2021 3:57:11 PM
Does this mean canadian currency is going to rise?
Posted by: CHilli56 | Aug 20, 2021 5:50:35 PM
Well, according to the article the majority of amounts found were so small that it tends to render any big concerns ludicrous. The simple fact is that probably the majority of the bills themselves were contaminated by others. There are several ways that bills could contain trace amounts of Cocaine:
- use for snorting or as payment for drugs
- cross contamination in store cash registers, walletts, etc.
- cross contamination in banks when put through counting machines and bundled
The simple fact is that although the information may serve to indicate areas where there is Cocaine use it does not indicate that 85% of the people use or have any contact with Cocaine. The article is, as in many cases of so called news, misleading in what the title suggests. I often wonder whether the National Enqurier or Weekly World News secrestly owns many of the media outtlets today.
Posted by: Richie | Aug 20, 2021 9:19:10 PM
Wouldn't it be cheaper to make them out of paper?
Posted by: harry | Aug 20, 2021 9:33:40 PM
they should have tested the notes for reefer, 100 percent would have come up green. :)
either way the bills should be worth more.
Posted by: Danny | Aug 20, 2021 10:06:34 PM
I guess this will give a whole new meaning to Money Laundering. Like how many Canadian bills does it take to be able to extract a kilogram. Or are we better to use American bills even with the stronger dollar??
Posted by: Donny | Aug 21, 2021 8:07:24 PM
That's what I'm talkin' about! Chop one up!
Posted by: armlecker | Aug 23, 2021 6:08:58 AM
HYPE. Last week a science group released a paper on something stupid .Don`t remember what it was.Next day the stock market dropped over 360 points ..because of it .Maybee the sellers sniffed to much of contaminated paper money . Neverless . These kind of releases should not be allowed to circulate over the media .So the same now over the cocainlaced money bills .They did not tell us which is the most laced .It might be better for someone to get a high on these than wasting ther money on the streets. Just an Asperin per day should clear these writers mind instead of polluting the media with garbage .
Posted by: Danny | Aug 23, 2021 11:03:07 AM
Please, can we have a new study to let us know which denomination bills are prone to have the highest contamination of Cocaine (so as to avoid these bills). And put a contract out for tenders (ASAP) to clean up these dirty bills.
It would be in the best interest of the Canadian population to have this done.
Posted by: DGirl | Aug 23, 2021 11:10:26 AM
OMG !! Its ALL my FAULT !!!! I accidentally spilt my Medicinal Cocaine on to a stack of 1000 $20 bills that I usually line my floor with :D
but honestly... I think its actually a good thing that we have so much Coke on our Bills... you can always count on COKE HEADS to keep the Economy up... and imagine the added value to our Dollar !!! YEAH !!!
Posted by: DGirl | Aug 23, 2021 11:17:23 AM
>> Danny
Its not worth the cost of getting the bills cleaned... only to get them tainted again... unless you are willing to allot $100 M yearly just for the clean up.
The only solution is... gather up all who have issues with the bills.. and make them sniff it till they forget what they are all so pissed at :D
Posted by: Danny | Aug 23, 2021 12:38:25 PM
OMG!!! Your supposed to SNIFF it? Oppps!
Posted by: Nabi | Aug 23, 2021 2:05:59 PM
It's because the bureaucracies are gobbling up the cash, dishing it out to CEO style bureaucrats. Youth are turning towards petty trafficking because there's so little legitimate employment. If you disagree, you're probably a pointless overpaid bureaucrat.