How to keep your boss from driving you crazy
The secret to dealing effectively with difficult bosses (and all other difficult people for that matter) is to approach them from their point of view rather than yours. Here are four of the world’s most crazy-making bosses, with a few tips on how to use this strategy to keep their craziness from driving you insane.
Micromanaging Control Freaks – Control Freaks offer a perfect example of what I mean by approaching difficult bosses from their point of view rather than yours. Your inner teenager gets irritated when people tell you what to do. You may think they do it simply because they like to be in control. Actually, control freaks are terrified of making mistakes. To keep them from driving you crazy, it takes reassurance rather than recrimination. Let them know that the project is as important to you as it is to them. Listen attentively to their lectures and take notes. Give far more progress reports than you think anyone would need. If you respond their fear rather than your irritation, they are likely to go and micromanage someone else.
Bullies – Bullies get angry because it gets them what the want. The secret to dealing effectively is to show them they can get what they want without all the yelling. If you’re being chewed out by a bullying boss, never try to get yourself off the hook by explaining why you did what you did. Your explanation will only make your boss angrier. Instead of explaining, calmly ask them what you need to do to fix the problem.
If staying this calm seems daunting, remember that anger and thinking occur in different parts of the brain. If you can manage to stay calm when a bully is yelling, you will have about a fifty IQ point advantage.
Sleaze Balls – Sleazy managers use your own hopes and fears to manipulate you. Everything sounds like a promise, until they’ve gotten what they want. Then, what did you say your name was? Remember that Sleaze Balls use communication differently than normal people do. Everything they say is designed to engender an emotional effect in you. If your boss is a sleaze ball, ignore threats and flattery. Believe only what you see in writing.
Pathological Positive Thinkers –These bosses have sustained brain damage from attending too many motivational seminars. They actually believe that if their people have enough can-do spirit, the more taxing aspects of management just evaporate. There are no problems to ponder, no conflicts to resolve. With bosses like these, there are two things to remember: Never make fun of their religious beliefs, and never suggest that anything is wrong. Present anything that might be construed as critical as a suggestion about how to make something great into something fabulous.
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By Albert J. Bernstein PhD, author of bestsellers Dinosaur Brains and Emotional Vampires. His newest book is Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity. For more information on how to stay sane at work, visit Dr. Al’s website: www.albernstein.com
Posted by: brad rawson | Sep 22, 2021 5:55:13 PM
i myself have dealt with all types of bosses, most of them were good to decent employees, now i am a union rep for a company i work for and see just how many idiotiic request that are made of employers and bosses. favortism is the work place nightmare, yet everyone likes it when it goes there way, and from my perspective the hardest thing to keep in check. bosses deserve respect and earn it by staying consistent and fare and i hope emplyees do the same
Posted by: Candice | Sep 22, 2021 5:58:12 PM
I'm getting ready to leave a job where my boss(es) are brutal. I work at a restaurant as a takeout cashier and hostess. Primarily I do takeout. Sometimes my boss micromanages me during the day and it drives me up the wall. I barely think for myself or I second guess myself. There are times when I think something is minor and I don't need to hunt down the manager, I'll make the final call. He'll come ask me later on what did I do and then he gets mad at me. Other times you try your hardest to make sure everything is done the way he wants it, he still manages to find something wrong, and yells at you. I'll be out of there soon, so he can yell at me all he wants :-P
Posted by: Tracy | Sep 22, 2021 7:19:33 PM
I just started working at a bar, and we have had 2 busy saturday nights with about 200 ppl in the place and I was the only waaitress on the floor, and my boss on both occassions proceeded to yell at me in front of ppl about not picking up glasses and bottles fast enough...and on this past sat night I couldn;t take it anymore so I took my money belt off and walked out the door, I may regret it a bit but I will not be scolded like I am a 5 yr old child, I think the better thing for him to do was look at the fact that his bar was busy and should have wanted to help me out!
Posted by: Sic | Sep 22, 2021 8:41:00 PM
My work has the president(micro-manager),vice president(bully)and manager(sleeze-ball).They all play off of each other and after it's all said and done,it's always the workers taking the blame.
Posted by: the maverick and am proud of it | Sep 22, 2021 9:50:56 PM
Obviously Dr. Albert J. Bernstein is not living in the real world. After 30 years running his own business and writing books without having to do as much answering to any self styled "higher up" as a working average jane/joe, when was the last time he had to work for corrupt CEO's and human landmines as his so called superiors? They are the one who could use some real help, not those who suffered that kind of abuse as a result who "need to kiss it up" and go along in order to get along.
It is no coincidence that those who bully and brutalize around from grades 1-12, do end up to be "leaders" by being slick and showing their good side to those who "mattered" while crushing down those who they like to think are nobodies. If any bosses are fair and competent to begin with, as long as their own and others boundaries are being respected, that I would have no problem with.
But as for conscienceless power tripping types who only cared to live their schoolyard bully days, having their egos protected at all costs even if it means destroying someone else's life. They are the ones who are making the real mockery of what it means to live in what is supposed to a free and most democratic country.
Posted by: Mike | Sep 22, 2021 10:19:32 PM
I worked for a guy that screamed at the staff on a regular basis and threatened to hang a guy from the Jacques Cartier bridge in Montreal. This because the waiter answered his phone before the restaurant was even open and he was officially on the clock. He also kicked a man off a bar stool and physically threw him from the restaurant when the guy put his feet on the bar. Another time he destroyed a display of seafood on ice because the design was wrong....and when I say destroyed we are talking about throwing whole fish 20 ft across the restaurant into a window....but other than that he was a really nice guy
Posted by: Amber | Sep 22, 2021 10:27:43 PM
I had the worst boss. She made my life a living hell for 2 years. I had small comments like 'do i need to teach you to count' if the till was .10cents off. To her bringing out a muffin my boyfriend had brought me because I missed breakfast and saying 'you can't eat that its full of fat, you need to loose weight.' 'Im ordering you an XL uniform to hid your tummy.' (Im a size M on a bad day) She even went as far as telling her boss to talk to me about unifrom size. Im not delusional about my weight,and I wont wear a tarp for a uniform. She even commented that I was pregnant and told everyone i was. (in 2 years i was never pregnant) She asked if she needed her to help me by spanx and perhaps needed to do sit ups (she demonstrated!) I had such a bad infection in my leg i needed immediate medical attention and i had to beg her to leave for the emergency room, she told me that perhaps i was sick because my boyfriend (now husband) 'was not clean' I ended up in hospital for a week and would not have gotten that bad if I was able to go see a doctor sooner. Eventually my boss above he caught on (bad things happened to her)and he was amazing and created a job for me that was away from her and later I moved on from the company and work for an amazing manager that I feel was well deserved. I also make a ton more money. I recently went back for a visit and my old coworkers look aful and are all miserable, they all have my number if they want out.!
Posted by: Josee | Sep 22, 2021 10:58:51 PM
I used to work for a screamer, he would always scream at us for no reason and threathen to fire us for no reason (but we were unionized so he couldnt) and i thought THAT was the worse boss ever!
WRONG
My next boss was just recently made a manager and it wasnt that she was too nice or anything. But she rarely ever took any enitiative! she never told me what to do. half the time I had to pick up after her! It was very annoying. And worse of ALL I found out after she hired me because she thought we would get along! NOT BECAUSE OF MY SKILLS OR COMPETENCE!!!! Needless to say I was very insulted.
Now I work for the same company but under a different branch and my boss is a sweetheart. And she can actually say "Go do this, then this, then take care of that". I love it!
Posted by: Noreen | Sep 22, 2021 11:04:33 PM
Sorry,Dan have to disagree with you there.........in all my 20+ years of working for both private, public and nonprofit companies in the field of marketing, I can count on my 1 hand and (exactly 2 fingers)-- the number of professional, capable, balanced, decent, caring, respectful managers who have your best interests AND those of the companies(above their own agenda) I have had the pleasure to work for. With the ability to communicate effectively is also a trait I have found to be gravy if you get it in a manager. Power trippers, liars, manipulators, head game players, perverts and sleazeballs, bullies, tyrants, and just plain insane, lazy and unintelligent.....you name it, I've worked for all types regardless of gender. Sad but true.
Posted by: Jenn | Sep 22, 2021 11:50:37 PM
I have been working for my company for 5 years, and about 4months ago my department in the company got a new boss that has only been working here for 2 weeks. Needless to say she didn't know jack. She was nice at first but then turned into a huge bitch. She demanded that myself and one of my co-workers work through our lunch until this "project" got done cause it had to go on the noon shuttle (It was 5min to noon when we were told this). And then 2 months later she was accussing me of being late on purpose because her boss (which is also another one of my bosses, yes I work in a "Office Space" type of enviroment) is on holidays. I was only 1min late once that week. Lets just say i gave her a peice of my mind and bitched her out. Funny thing is I'm still working here....only until I'm done school.
Posted by: Rich | Sep 23, 2021 8:17:56 AM
I worked for a boss who was unbelievable. The micromanaging, bullying and rude behavior including belittling/berating you in front of other associates was like I had never heard/seen. His attitude extended to everyone he dealt with in the office, customers and outside vendors. It really was a "toxic" work environment.
After being told I must work 80-90 hours a week, because the crisis situation was as he said "my fault", I was close to mental and physical exhaustion, I felt I had no choice but to resign. I believe this is what his goal was anyway, to ride me until I buckled and they could get rid of my salary from the overhead.
Suffice to say, after doing some reading and investigation, you really don't have to "take it" if you are being harassed, bullied or other human rights are being violated.
Here is a link to a comprehensive study done at the University of New Brunswick ON, dealing with respect in the workplace. http://www.unbf.ca/towardarespectfulworkplace/index.html
It is an enlightening read for those of you who are dealing with this day in day out. There are laws in place both under the Employement Standards Act and the Human Rights Commission to protect you. I would encourage you to take action!
Posted by: Marnie | Sep 23, 2021 12:27:15 PM
How about someone who fits most categories above, thinks he knows it all when he knows nothing? The little he knows, he learned along the way, by stealing from others.
Posted by: Joe | Sep 25, 2021 5:59:19 PM
Dan...you forget one very important difference between employees and employers...POWER. If your employee is a nightmare, fire them, get someone better and continue your climb up the ladder of success. But if your boss is unbearable, you quit, there is no job waiting, you can't pay your rent, you are evicted, on welfare and on the street. So please spare me the "employee horror stories".
By the way, a great way to put your boss in his place is to UNIONIZE.
Posted by: michelle | Nov 19, 2021 3:23:31 PM
Hi, Can you tell me if it is appropriate for me to go ahead and ask my boss for cash advance? To have my money before payday and that he can just deduct it from my pay, since I need the money to go out partying,drinking with my friends like I always do every nite.
I get the feeling that he is getting annoyed with me cause I do always ask him for cash advance, do you think this is wrong of me to ask and I have been working at this job for 2 months now, my boss is really cool? Can you please let me know what you think? Thanks.
Michelle