Would you go out with someone who's unemployed?

Change the the question slightly to, "Would you go out with someone who's unemployed if you knew she/he had $5 million in the bank?" the answer would change from 75% No! to 100% Absolutely Yes!
This culture is very transparent when it comes to the motivations behind relationships. A person can have one eye and a horn protruding from their forehead but if there's enough money on deck ............!!!!!!
Sad but true!!!

I have to agree with Frank. I am on a dating site and it appears that the ladies are only interest in one thing: Wine tours, dining out, going South in the winter and generally being spoiled. None offer what they could bring into a relationship.

One comforting thought:

These women are on dating sites, which means most of them are single or unhappy in their current relationship. Its comforting to know that the shallow, gold digging, unsympathetic *itches are probably going to end up alone. Even if they do find someone willing to give them what they want, chances are hes shallow too and only going for her looks, which will fail with the inevitable passing of time at which point he will leave her and the other women that he was simultaneously dating and yet again, they will end up alone and unhappy. Karma is good for something!

My "soul mate" was my best friend for 10 years before we embarked upon a four-and-a-half year relationship. He was unemployed when we started dating. I thought he just hit a bit of bad luck and that with encouragement and support he could get back on his feet and we would have a good life together. Four-and-a-half years later my "help" and "loans till I get back on my feet" = just shy of $70,000. Oh and a boot in the *@$ when I stopped "helping" and started suggesting he help himself. It seems there is this wonderful lady out there that will have no problem supporting him the rest of his life. I can take care of myself. All I asked is that he also do the same. *Sigh* BIG lesson learned...very painfully so.

I have also supported a boyfriend while he gets on his feet. Luckily it wasn't $70,000 like Toad, but enough to say that I had to work a summer of overtime to pay off the debt. To me, it's not really about having a job or not, its a) taking care of yourself, and b) being ambitious in life. If I met a guy with $5 mil in the bank but didn't DO anything, I would not be interested.

Hey guys,

Would you go out with a woman who was unemployed?
How about self-sufficiently unemployable?

It's mostly because most women want someone to raise they're kids and pay they're bills left over from the last poor sap they were with that lost his job. The for better or for worse phrase in marrage vows should be wiped out because when it gets worse most women head for the door

True love is hard to find, and studies like this are just a testament to it. It seems like there is no such thing as "love" any more. All it really seems to be about is, what can this person do for me? What can I get out him? And truthfully, it's disgusting that love is now seen as a business transaction, instead of being with someone because you truly like who they are as an individual. In all honesty, if I fell in love with a woman for whatever reason, It would not matter to me whether she worked at Mcdonalds for living or were a doctor, because I fall for the woman for who she is and not her title. I would say the only thing that would make refuse dating a woman is if she were taking her clothes off for a living, or worked in any atmosphere of a sexual nature. Nevertheless, I would still like to believe that somewhere out there that pure love exists and not let myself get jaded by things like this.

Please ladies, respect yourselves, there is NOTHING out there for people, who don't work. Those men prey on women's emotional need to be in a relationship. I will NEVER be with someone, who does not have ambition, drive and ultimately money!! Amount is less important, but if I can wake up at 6 am and go to work, so is a man, nothing wrong with work, it does not kill!! Look for someone, who has 1 dollar more than you and do not spent your life and wonderful years of it to pay loans for some f...k, enjoy them with someone, who will treat you the way you want to be treated. Now, it does not mean one bit, that women should do nothing, it is not an invitation for laziness, women should be partners and work hard with their significant others, however and as stated above, those others should be worthy of that!!!

@Natalie

Not all men are who are unemployed are interested in preying on women's emotional
need to be in a relationship and using them for their money. Believe it or not, there
are men out there who would even be EMBARASSED about asking/taking money from
some one that they are interested in. And just for the record, a man with absolutely
nothing can treat you like gold. The problem with a lot of you women is that you think
a man who gives you more expensive gifts and "spoils" you loves you more, when that could
not be further from the truth.

Natalie you sound like a perfect example of what I'm talking about. So what happens when the guy whos making a dollar more then you loseses his job making a decent wage and ends up on unemployment then ends up getting the only thing avaliable flipping burgers, god forbid, making a couple of dollars less then you. Time to kick him to the curb , right Nat.

Replying to Mark and others: I never said a woman should do nothing, i never said a working partner is an invilation for laziness, but I did say, that a lot of men these days indulge in self pity and leave their partners to mend for themselves while they sort out their emotional c..p. I will respect a guy flippng burgers 100 times more than the one, who is unemployed and is "finding himself again from an unknown period of time" while his wife is left to pay all the bills. So no Mark, my comments meant something completely different. I know of many exaples of relationships getting stronger when men did their urmost for their families, it is about self respect and a man, who is sitting there getting fat doing nothing does not, first and foremost, respect himself!!

And for women, if your partner is an a..s and consistently leaves you with no standard of living or hope of a better life, get the hell out, if you stay in those relationships with all the execuses like kids, etc, you have only yourselves to blame...I know it may not sound great, many people think all this, but would not verbalize, here I am doing it for you...The bottom line is this: there are jobs in any economy, they may not be great, they may not always be in line with skills and training, etc, but it is paramount to keep in mind one's commitments to family and partnerships as opposed to self-pity.

Well Natailie you must be a really rare bird or your talking out of spite due to a passed circumstance. I've worked all my life and was always with a partner up until about ten years ago, and I can say now that the passed ten years has been my most successful and fulfilling doing things my way and living the way I want to. I have family and friends but just don't need the BS of some whiner with her own agenda that usually wants everything they're way. Am I being selfish ? maybe, but you can only give so much for so long, then you have to recognize your own limitations

That's great Mark, I am certain a million percent that many men and women will agree with me ahead of you, that's all I need to know. You are alone for 10 years and while it's a choice, I don't know a single guy, who would do it voluntarily unless they were cheap beyond belief of emotionally damaged. As for spite and past experience, they are great ones, as I do not collect loosers and winers and enjoy a lifestyle most can only envy! My point is: it all starts from oneself for both men and women. Enjoy your weekend.

You have a good one to Nat, whatever your great lifestyle may be and yes you do have the one key word right big time, it's choice and you and I nattering at each other like this is one reason I could care less about stupid opinions coming from pointless observations, but each to his own..

Absolutely and that;s why there are haves and have nots because as Facebook CFO once said: men and women do not understand, that the most important career decision they will ever make is who they will marry. Most marriages don't survive economic abuse from one of the partners and smart men and women know that! Pay your bills or get out is my moto and it always worked. Take care and enjoy another 10 years of looser life existence.

Guess I musta struck a nerve, but I do agree with the pay your own bills theoy, then again if you check out the very first post you'll get the idea of alot of womens attitudes when it comes to dating and wanting the wining & dining and trips down south without giving back. And by the way being single for ten years and being alone for ten years are two different things, like I said another pointless observation, some big CFO must have said that, lol

Yes, you have, but we are talking about 2 comptelely different things. I am talking about men, who are unable to "collect" themselves and leaving their partners the burden and you are talking about women, who are users. None of these things are OK or acceptable, but in certain circles, including mine, a man won't get anything if he does not tret a woman properly. Yes, it does matter what a man does and how much he makes, but a lot less than a principle of him contributing. A lot of men used the recession as an excuse, a lot of others built on these strengths and supported their families through thick and thin. BTW, yes, you need money to wine and dine good looking women, but when one already has a family, it is about partnership and support. I just happen to like to fall in love with weathier guys...I find it's way less drama and way more fun with things they can afford, but I work hard myself and make 6 figure income, so I have something to show for all of that. Women can't just take either!

There's not a lot you've said that I don't agree with in princible Natalie and if I loved someone even if she were the ugliest toad at the ball I'd still wine and dine her, because I love her, but with the world the way it is that's almost impossible to find. I'm not rich nor do i make a six figure income but I'm not on here to blow my horn. Ive worked steadly through recession and boom times, I have good credit and pay my bills and yes, there was a time I was on UI and have since upgraded my skills and work at a decent career and run a small business on the weekends. When I was on UI, I didn't feel inferior because I wasn't working, shit happens. You just seem to stereotype men who are having a tough time finding work as lazy and fat and coming from someone who just happens to fall in love with weathier guys it sounds a little pretentious

It's interesting that women who are interested in a man's money are considered shallow, yet the main criteria a man has for a woman is how attractive she is and once they get older, how much younger they are than the man. And so it will always be until people get it that it doesn't pay to date outside of your socio-economic class.

Yes, women with kids prey on stupid men who date women who are out of their league. Woman also marry men of means and pop out a kid as fast as they can to get a long term foot hold on his income.............. HULLOOOOOOOOOO!!! Are you listening boys? I know several men who earn mid 6 figure incomes and have been married and divorced several times with each wife cleaning them out. Although I felt bad for them at the time, I can't help but wonder what in the world makes a man think that a beautiful woman 10 or 15 years younger than him who is clearly out of his league, is actually attracted and in love with his bald head, fat cheeks and big beer gut? SERIOUSLYL???
I've also spent my share of time on dating sites. Seems the boys who earn a decent living really aren't terribly interested in women their own age. They must be thinking that if they can get a 'perfect match' on a dating site, why not make it with someone significantly younger than himself. I used to feel angry with the women out there who screwed guys over and basically ruined them for the woman who came after them. But I've seen too much at this poiint and my new perspective is that as long as men are stupid enough think with the wrong head, they deserve what they get.
As for my own situation, I what nothing from any man and I don't need him to wine and dine me without accepting the same back from me. I so however, expect him to pay his own way as I pay my own way and I have NO sense of any entitlement if he happens to have some net worth,. I'm 51 and unfortunately for me, when I get on dating sites, the vast majority of men showing me any interestt are 60 and older. Thank goodness I found a social activity that brings men and women together because ultimately that's where I FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY found a decent guy my own age and I'm out of dating hell.

Natalie, you're not falling in love with the man, you're falling in love with his wallet. I'm guessing in your circle, it's all about what kind of car he drives, what does he dress like, or does he have a yacht. Well guess what, there is more to someone and life than materialistic bullshit. Most of the people in your circle probably have their heads so far up their asses, that they don't know the meaning of being grounded.

ABSOLUTELY NOT! No way under ANY circumstances would I get involved with someone who is unemployed!

Unemployed men just don't stand a chance no matter what any woman says. Financial stability is what both genders strive for. Men have been hit harder with unemployment than women in this latest recession according to the latest statistics. How does a guy get a date being in that position?

Lol ,Like the old song goes, You got no money,you got no car,you got no woman, so there you are. Cathie you have to lighten up, men are hardwired to want to be with younger women, but you are right men have to use they're heads and if they get screwed it's 100% they're own stupitity, good looking women know the power of the pussy and have every intention of getting everything they can with it

It's funny to see how people think it's a new thing anywhere that marriage is a bit of a business contract. Maybe, maybe for one or two well-off generations in north america (and for some people there and other places now) it was almost purely romantic love...but most women don't feel love for shiftless, suspicious, low-energy/ambition losers. It's only natural. There are very practical concerns when considering whether or not to get married, or even just to be friends/associates. There are communities, workplaces, and neighbourhoods where the men are practically the same financially, or seem to be, so once that's pretty much known then the women there might be able to pick much more purely on love. Go anywhere with huge wealth disparity, or real poverty, and it's obviously a different story...especially when you're talking about very desireable women.

I would be more interested in how the sexes react to someone taking advanced degrees that may or may not get them anywhere. "I want to do a masters, then ph.d., then post doctoral work in such and such non-science/non-busines/non-professional program..." Where does that get most men with the ladies, espeically the highly desireable ladies? Do they rush to him, or do they rush to mister "I earn a lot, drive a nice car, have a house, and take nice vacations...right now." I have wondered if the reason more women are getting more education is that men don't care so much about a woman's earning power, while women might want a certain lifestyle now and in the future that a man with less classical education (humanities), but who is well-employed can help provide over someone who still has 5+ years of university planned before an uncertain employment situation.

Well I find myself on the contrary of those who don't date an unemployed guy. If I truly loved someone then who cares if he could buy me things or not? I am an independent woman, I don't need someone else's money to survive! If I loved someone, wasn't I supposed to be there for him when he was going through his tough time even though the only thing I can probably do is just to listen? I wish unemployed men could stay optimistic and be open up despite the crappy status. Keep faith in yourself, work up some positive plans, you will soon get over the situation. What a shame my man decided to withdraw into his cave and refrained from dating because of depression and insecurity. Though I understood his situation and tried not to take it personally, the feeling of being ignored was unavoidable when he became totally silent and distant.

As far as I understand the question posed in the thread is would you DATE an unemployed man. My response to this...NO. However, if I was already in a relationship with someone or married to someone, of course I would be there to support. If I loved the person - I would not leave. At the dating stage; however, LOVE is not a part of the equation.