If you only had a year to live...
"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
Those are just a few of the questions posed by Stephen Levine, author most recently of A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last in which he reports on an experiment he and his wife, Ondrea, conducted by living one year as if it were their last year on earth.
If time was short, we’d probably all resolve to fully live each twenty four hours. Work less. Make amends. See the Pyramids. Stop worrying about money.
But how would all this actually play out in your day-to-day decisions?
For instance, as retirement coach Ann Harrison asks ….
- What unfinished business would you attend to?
- Which priorities would you re-examine?
- What would you stop doing?
- What would you start doing?
- What would you like to learn about?
- What would you like to buy?
- What would you like to try?
- What would you like to change?
If you're due to retire in the near future, how will you make the most of the freedom, choice and opportunities available to you? How will you get the retirement you deserve?
By Gordon Powers, MSN Money
Posted by: James | Jan 20, 2011 3:37:03 AM
I would only look for one thing....a beach i could walk along without ever having the feeling that I had to look back, I would want to know that I saw everything there was to see, smelled all the smells, felt the sand under my feet and the sun and wind on my face, heard the birds singing and the waves pounding the shore, I would want the feeling that I didn't miss anything, that I noticed and appriciated all that was in front of me, never even wanting to look back, all we really have is what is yet to come.
Posted by: Rick Hatton | Jan 20, 2011 9:28:00 AM
I would quit exercising, start smoking, and kill all my enemies.
Posted by: Mia | Jan 20, 2011 10:05:44 AM
Hey Rick - you nailed it!!! lol...I would do the exact same.
Posted by: JOHN LUCAS | Jan 20, 2011 10:27:22 AM
Not as easy as you think...I was given lessthan a year to live by the Mayo clinic . I did everything I ever wanted to do. Travelled ...ate and drank to much. Experienced anything new for the first time.
Than reality set in I slipped into a coma for 147 days and than came out of it. I alienate my family, friends and anyone else that was close.
I was put into paliative care...broke and alone. Two years waiting to die and I decided I would die on my own terms.
Still broke but what an experience...But its really hard being broke and missing my kids.
Posted by: Ted C | Jan 20, 2011 11:00:03 AM
Visit with old friends, play with young women, travel the world, and like Rick, make life miserable for those who made it miserable for me. Oh, and run up a huge debt doing all this to the max. But unlike John Lucas, I better die at the end.
Posted by: Doug | Jan 20, 2011 11:43:24 AM
It's not as easy as you think, or might believe. I have a terminal illness, and there are many things that I would like to do before that final day, but it's not always possible to accomplish these wants. Having been married twice (my first divorce cost me 30 years of everything I had worked for), there is no longer any investments, savings, RRSP's, or anything else to fall back on (the ex-wife and lawyers got it all). Nor can I work anymore so I have to depend on CPP disability which barely covers rent let alone hoping to visit some far off place that I had dreamed of all my life. However, that aside, it has given me a better understanding of what a younger person needs to do today in order to be comfortable in the future, this I'm able to pass on to my sons. I have been tracing past acquaintances, letting them know that I have never forgotten them and what kind of impact they have had on my life to date. The warmth they experience, not to mention the surprise, is more than enough for me. Fear is not an option, nor is anger relevant, and thanks to my spiritual beliefs, I have today and that's all that matters.
Posted by: Doug | Jan 20, 2011 12:33:47 PM
One thing I forgot to mention, if on a daily basis I can get one person to laugh, or at the very least smile, then I have accomplished something on that day.
Posted by: Bob | Jan 20, 2011 1:23:16 PM
Really define life/living. The problem today- majority of humans does not know or even give it a though what it is to live/life. Everyone always thinks about the amount of money to get or have and not the hardships that goes to others to do so. If one only wakes up and starts their day knowing that -will i made a person smile-I did no harm to anyone-I was not greedy because I cannot take big riches with me when i die. Help others to live a better life before moving on in the cycle .
Posted by: J | Jan 20, 2011 1:49:21 PM
I would throw myself off the top of a bridge and get it over with. Bring on the next life...
Posted by: Richard | Jan 20, 2011 2:08:56 PM
Rick... if you would have lead such a life that you have made so many so-called "enemies"... then maybe it would be a good thing that you get trimmed from the herd, pronto. As for Ted C... you obviously are either young and immature or old and immature with no wife or children, since your family would be responsible for your debts, let alone the cost of your funeral... unless they let you rot somewhere deep in some forest.
Posted by: Darren | Jan 20, 2011 2:38:10 PM
I would go live in a nudist colony that has alot of big breasted women.
Posted by: Western Guy | Jan 20, 2011 2:41:32 PM
If given 1 year to live I happily I wouldn't change a thing. I would still go to work each day (my work is enjoyable and fulfilling). I would tell my wife I loved her every morning (as I do now) and after 1 year I would go to my maker with my head held high for the fulfilling life I've had.
Posted by: Heather | Jan 20, 2011 4:15:06 PM
I would continue to keep working, trying to pay down my personal debt. I would find loving homes for my critters. I have enough books to start a library, and so I would find homes for them in other libraries or pass them on somewhere so that people would get enjoyment out of them. Literacy is so important and I would want my books to be used to promote literacy. I would sell and give away all my belongings, so that when I'm gone no one will have to fight over my stuff, and anything that should be thrown out - I would take care of it. I would even try to do my income tax in advance, so that when I died it could be filed. I'd cash in my investments and use them to pay down my debt. Sadly I'd die owing money. When my last day came I would know that my family and friends would not have to deal with all my stuff and I'd have no regrets. I'd host a going away party - a send off to heaven - lots of singing and remembering. Hallelujah! I am going to meet God!
Posted by: tna | Jan 20, 2011 4:43:22 PM
i would tell my best friend im sorry for not meeting him ,and yes i am in love with him.....
Posted by: Jillian | Jan 20, 2011 5:51:13 PM
Rick made me laugh!! Atta boy!
Anyone who takes him seriously... I feel sorry for you!
Posted by: lucille | Jan 20, 2011 6:11:32 PM
I would spend everyday with my husband my adult daughters and my grandchildren. I wish i could do that now and i not dying.
Posted by: karen | Jan 20, 2011 8:09:12 PM
i would relish the day from the moment of waking, stretching, indulging in the feeling of nesting in bed then put on a cozy housecoat and slippers and go enjoy a cup of hot tea with honey and cream outdoors or in front of a sunny window...i would telephone as many loved ones as possible sharing what they've meant to me, the beauty i see in them...i would go for an invigorating walk and then take a nice hot shower or soak in a hot tub...i would put on clothes that make me feel amazing and doll myself up then take myself to a favourite restaurant and order whatever i wanted and eat and eat and eat until i was completely satisfied. then i might find a beach to sit at or some place in nature to soak up the vibes, listen to my ipod and favourite music, sip a tasty glass of red wine, feel the sun on my face. after i would love to go dancing, out for another incredible meal, enjoy the company of fun and interesting people, do something dangerous or crazy (streaking, skinny dipping, make love under the stars), then i would cap off the night with the most delicious cup of hot chocolate i could find and call my kids to say goodnight and i love you and go to bed with a smile on face, feeling full and sated and complete!!
Posted by: ForeverLively | Jan 20, 2011 8:10:29 PM
I have been blessed with total freedom. I recently sold my house so i can travel and do the things I want. Bon Jovi; 'It's my Life, it's now or never...I ain't gonna live forever!'. My work sent me to another city for 6 months (of course i can go), I'm in Hawaii in March for 2 weeks, and in July I'm going to BC to visit my sister. (we've been a little distant). I called two former high school teachers and told them I owe my success as a professional woman to their leadership and involvement in my life when I needed it most. (of course I/they didn't realize it then).
And I'm damn happy. I haven't heard if I'm dyin' any time soon either. It is an awesome life.
Posted by: Bali Islander | Jan 20, 2011 8:29:38 PM
I would spend one day and only one making my Bucket List of all the things I want to accomplish. I fortuneately do not have fences to mend or people to ask forgiveness from. I live half the year in Bali and half on Van Isl so I have already accomplished much of what I wanted in life. I would make sure my affairs like will, etc are in order so that my family would not have any hassels after I leave because I want the transision to be smooth and hassel free. Assuming I still have good health for the year, I would visit with my family a few of those places I always wanted to see but had not gotten to yet. Family if very important to me so I would make sure that they were prepared mentally and with no regret for my passing. Luckily I can afford to do whatever I want so I would try and give each member of my family some of my time to experience what they really want so that they look back with fond memories of our last days together. Death does not scare me, I just want my last days to be days willed with happy memories for my family.
Posted by: soaring eagles ca | Jan 20, 2011 9:35:41 PM
Some things I have done already, I have made a "last will"l and I live already so as this would be my last year despite I am expecting to live many more years. Sure, it's a matter of time we all are going
to die, it doesn't matter how old we are.
I wouldn't live much different then now; I made the most important decisions already...so I am in
peace with God and with all people around me. I am convinced about life after dead, that means
I believe in resurrection according to the bible. Eternal life is a gift from God and through believing
in God (not through religious works) we can get forgiveness through Christ for free; but like many
things in life we have to make decisions. I recommend to read specifically the new testament in the
bible; it's God's word and love which sets free. :-)
A practical comment is live a good live style, do good to everybody, forgive, be friendly and
be happy. Cheers.
Posted by: Sue | Jan 20, 2011 9:40:22 PM
I am 50 years old and a single parent. My dream is being fulfilled right NOW since I believe in doing what we want to do ! We've travelled to 30 countries so far -- including Greece, Italy, Pyramids of Egypt, Jerusalem and Bethlehem, Barcelona, Palma Majorca, Moorea, Tahiti, Bora Bora, Ta'haa, Barbados, St. Martin, Cuba 9 times, many areas of USA and Canada, Guyana, Trinidad, Virgin Islands and am working ! My daughter has graduated with a B.Comm in Marketing and Law and no debts since I paid it all ! We have a great lifestyle and enjoying each other's companies, meeting many interesting people from around the world, and enjoying the different cultures and places we've dreamt of doing. Next is Asia and India.. enjoy the special moments, the sunsets, the beaches, the flowers in the summer and the people you meet along the way..and then if death faces you tomorrow, you have nothing to worry about since you've enjoyed life to the fullest !
Posted by: William | Jan 21, 2011 2:22:12 AM
1 year - well, 1 year till I get to see my sister and mother again..1 year till I kiss my daughter for the last time..1 year to live like I was dying...so here we are wondering what to do rather than doing..sad but true - smell a rose, feel the salt air by the ocean and hug the ones you love.. I've walked many a cemetary and yet to see ones occupation on a tombstone.. live to work or work to live - we all have a choice.
Posted by: Tenacious Otter | Jan 21, 2011 12:05:39 PM
Something I'd like to put forward here, I've recently been through my mothers passing, and will be going through my fathers passing. Something has become glaringly evident, a living will, what the medical community is allowed to do and not do with you. Instructions you have to leave, when no one can dispute your ability to make these decisions for yourself.
Posted by: chris | Jan 21, 2011 1:02:08 PM
I would stop saving money, cash in my investments and start doing some world travel. No more retirement savings or budgetting. However, there's only so much you can do in a year.
I would quit work and only do volunteer stuff. Maybe combine it with the travel, and do high risk stuff. Why not if I'm going to die soon anyway.
I would stop controlling my weight with diet and exercise and eat whatever I want and just do activities that I enjoy.
I would never bother to clean my house or make any improvements. Just hire someone as needed.
I would get very depressed as the year wore on, and probably be on a cocktail of anti-depressants by the end.
I would try and make it easy on the people I love and use the anti-depressants to mask my true feelings.
I would try and find out why I only had a year, how do I know this, how will I die and can I do anything to change it. I'd feel totally pissed off with the situation.
Posted by: scuba diver | Jan 21, 2011 2:46:37 PM
funny thing - i had a 3.2 cm long tumour in my bladder and was given 6 months to 2 years
so the first thing i did was get rid of the wife that was dragging me down for 19 years - the pleasure i felt was beyond belief
i am still alive and it is 4 years now - i went vegan - gave up drinking and started working out
Getting told i was going to die was the BEST thing that ever happened to me - gave me incentive to change everything!!!!!
Posted by: had a taste, no more waste | Jan 21, 2011 5:53:36 PM
There was a day when I "came to" on the bathroom floor after lying there unconsious for the better part of a day.....I was a 49 year old who took care of herself and there I was, near death with a very serious bout of pancreatitis (cause unknown)...all alone I somehow got myself to the hospital and clung to life for a week before I began to heal....
There is not a second that goes by that i do not fully engage in my life---nice winter holidays with hubby every year, a no-stress fun job, a smile for everyone....there is always a bounce in my step....
It's been 4 years and I feel great--but you never, ever know what is around the corner....I learned that one the hard way. Donn't wait for someone to say you have a year left--you might not even have a day--live your life now....
Posted by: Randy Kubbernus | Jan 21, 2011 11:28:01 PM
I know its late I wish I didnt wait HELLO HELLO!
Posted by: Sheila | Jan 24, 2011 11:28:09 AM
Have you seen The Bucket List? I have a Bucket List. I usually have 10 things on this list that I want to accomplish before I die. I think up new ones as the current ones are completed. I don't want to get to where dying is imminent to do all the wonderful things life has to offer and when I "GO" I will have no regrets. I will be happy with the life I have had!!!
Posted by: norma | Jan 25, 2011 4:47:01 PM
me i would just spend all my time with my husband and kids
Posted by: Alan | Mar 19, 2011 4:27:56 PM
I would finish building our retirement home on the Bay of Fundy.There I goi. I never wanted to be there in the first place.I live on the west coast & want to travel by bike the entire Vancouver Island.Trade my boat for a sailboat & head for New Zealand.I do not know how to sail so am sure that would be the end.